Are you tired of shopping posts yet?

First things first, Shanna over at My Sweet Bowtique says that you can all have one free clippie with your order if you mention my blog, and I get three! Hurrah! Isn't that nice? I just wanted her to see the picture of Hannah all clippied up, so I sent her a link to my post and... Voilà! Free clippies for all!

In other shopping news, I came across this at Superstore yesterday.
On sale. So I don't need it on my Christmas list anymore. (Since I obviously started reading it last night, and nine people are already dead. Brutal. How did I forget Stephen King writes horror?) But don't worry, I found something else. Actually, I can't believe I forgot about this. I need it. Obviously.

TELL ME This Isn't AWESOME!

Okay, I know. It's been a lot of YouTube and photos and stuff, but Mom posted this video over on her site which led to a flurry of googling on my part, which ended up leading me to this video:

Isn't that the coolest? LOL. I lurv it. And I lurv that dumb piano playing cat. And since I was awake anyways, I figured I could get today's post out of the way.

I'll bet that cat can hear all that music when it's playing. Just look in its dumb cat eyes and tell me it isn't hearing violins and flutes. (This reminds me of something Ang read me this summer. Ang, I'm gonna want to borrow that book when I get there, so I can post that thing about the reading cats on here. I'm laughing again just thinking about it.)

And if you didn't listen to the whole thing, and thought you could get the gist of it after the first minute or so, you were wrong. Go back and play the whole thing. And stop being so impatient and judgy. Just listen to it.

Look What Came in the Mail Today!

Yay!

Whoops! Missed one! And it's my favorite...

I ♥ My Sweet Bowtique!

Thanks Carrie

I was wondering what to post today. I'm sick. Again. (Yay.) And in no mood to be creative, so it was lucky for me Carrie put up a whole bunch of YouTube videos as a post yesterday, which reminded me of one of my all time favorites.

Hans. Cracks me up every time.

Yes, I know this is a lame excuse for a post. You're lame.

Little Ben

My mom has been waiting a few weeks for me to put up a video of Ben learning to... I'd say crawl, but it wasn't really crawling. See for yourself...

This is Ben at around TEN months, finally figuring out how to get around. He's trying to get the vent covers, which is funny to me because over the next few years he would put many toys down that vent, actually down ALL the vents, no matter how many times we told him not to. For some reason, those vents always fascinated him.

And this is Ben stuck in the A-frame position. This happened a lot and was so funny, because the kid could NOT figure out how to just bend his knees to get out of it. (Hannah, on the other hand, loves the A-frame and has been going in and out of it for well over a month now with no problems. I should look back at the pictures, because actually, I think it's closer to two months.)

I know I'm very loud in both of these, but he was my first, and honestly, isn't he just the cutest little guy? Gosh, he was cute. I watched a whole bunch of videos of him at this age while I was looking for these ones and... He was just so cute.

More Wishing

Well, here it is. I've been working on it for a few days now, ever since Melissa posted hers. I usually do this over in my sidebar for Glen and whoever has me in the Christmas box, but since it's NaBloPoMo, and since Melissa suggested it, here it is.

My Christmas Wish List:
First of all, I need this. But I'll settle for this one if I have to, since it's about $200.00 cheaper. So... Sigh. Yes, I can definitely settle for the second one, even though the first one would be better. This lens will allow me to take clearer pictures in low light without a flash, and you know how I hate using a flash, so... I need it. Real bad. (But my lips hurt real bad!) (Star to whoever knows what movie that's from.) (Unless you're Ang. Or Glen.) (Then no star.) I would like it before Christmas though, which is a bit of a problem I guess. The reason I'd like it before Christmas is so that I can take our Christmas photos using it. Pretty please?

Bubble Bath. Shocker, I know. There's only really one option here. It has to be this brand and this size. If you get it on sale it's really not that bad. Well, okay it is, but it lasts me really long. Fine. I'll settle for a smaller size, but I'll need a candle to go with it.

I need this. Very badly. And it needs to be green. I don't care that it costs extra for the green. Now that I know there are green laptops out there, anything else would be completely unacceptable. I have, however, decided that contrary to what I said before, I am willing to wait till Christmas for this one. Or even until after Christmas. It's only a month away. I can make it.

Of course, if you get me a laptop I'm going to need something to put it on, and since Sammy broke the tray I bought for $5.00 at a garage sale, I'd like this one please. It's snazzy. But I'd totally settle for this one. Or even this one. Although, don't you think my green laptop would look amazing on the snazzy ones? Still okay on the cheaper one, because after all it's green, but... Just picture it on the first one!

I would like this scarf and mitten set, actually I would LOVE it, but it's pretty expensive. But STUNNING. So, I think, totally worth it, and actually the more I look at it the more I'm convinced it just might be the prettiest thing I've ever seen. (Ang you really have to click on the link and see the scarf done up, but only if you PROMISE not to buy it for yourself and wear it in front of me.) I will settle for virtually any scarf/mitten set since anything goes with my grey coat, but... It has to be mittens. And it has to be snuggly soft. No gloves. And no scratchy wool. I wouldn't mind a toque, but it's not necessary. I wouldn't wear it that often.

And, I only need one more season of Seinfeld to complete my collection. This one. (Why the hoink is it so cheap on Amazon? We need to draw names for the Christmas box so that whoever has me can buy it cheap in time for it to get shipped. It's way more at the store. Any store.)

If you don't feel like getting me Seinfeld, someone (I think it was Glen?) got me a season of Corner Gas last year. I'd like to have all of them eventually. Season 2 would probably be the next logical step, but as you can probably tell from the fact that I need season 7 of Seinfeld, I don't necessarily need them in order. You can buy whatever is cheapest and I'll be good to go.

I know it takes a long time to wander around looking for my traditional Christmas Eve jammies, so I've saved you (Glen) the leg work this year. I'd like these ones please. (So alluring, I know.) In pink preferably. In a 3x. (Or a 4x if they've got it. I don't think they do, but it doesn't hurt to ask.) Yes, I am aware that I am not a 3x, but I like them baggy. (Even more alluring. Hubba hubba.) (That model has Meridith hair.)

I'd also like some books. Ask my mom to help you if you're having trouble. I'd like to read that new Stephen King one, but only because I saw an ad for it on facebook. You know me, I like almost anything, and I'll probably read it even if I don't like it. I think my jammies, and my new tray thing, would go really well with this book. (I could put snacks on that tray. You should really get me that.)

And, just like Melissa, I have one last thing I'd really like for Christmas that doesn't have to cost you anything more than some planning and some time...

Yes, I know last year I only asked for thirty-six hours, but Melissa already had this nice little picture thing made and ready to go, plus we have one more kid than we did last year which has to be figured in, plus I didn't get it last year, so now I need last year's time and this year's time. I would recommend doing it this year, because otherwise next year I'm asking for sixty hours.. So... Yup.

Unlike Melissa, most of my "plans" would involve laying around sleeping and watching movies so I would definitely need to have a place all to myself, and not necessarily a vehicle. Also, I'd like to point out that almost all of the above gifts would totally come in useful if you got me this gift. And if it's important to you, I could probably work in the scarf set and the lens if I had to. Think about it. Talk to someone about it. Do something about it.

Wishful Thinking

I was supposed to get back from my trip to Seattle yesterday. I wish with everything inside of me that there was a way to fix this so that I could have gone on that trip. I wish he was still here. I wish it a hundred times a day, and today even more than usual. (Don't ask why.)

Last night I spent an hour or so reading some of Dad's blog posts so I could "hear" him talk.

What I really want is to call him on the phone. I want to ask him things. And tell him things. Why can't there be a phone to heaven? Ben thought there was. A little while ago he asked if he could call Grampa because he had something to tell him about some car or something. It broke my heart to have to tell him we couldn't talk to Grampa anymore. Partly because I want to really REALLY badly.

I want to ask him if he knew he was dying. I know he knew sort of, but I want to know if he knew. And if he was scared. I don't think he was, but I want him to tell me that he wasn't. I want him to tell me he could hear us, hear me singing, feel us holding his hands and stroking his hair. I think he could. But I want him to tell me he could, and that it made him feel better. I want him to tell me what it's like up there and how it was to see his dad again, and what Johnny and Melissa's babies are like. I want him to tell me that he's happy and okay and that everything that hurt is better now and that he understands why it had to be this way. I want him to tell me that because I'm not happy and okay, and I don't understand, and I want to know that someday I will. I think I will, but I want him to tell me that.

And I want to tell him that Hannah is crawling now. And that Sam's new word is "woffy" which seems to mean something along the lines of wobbly/big/little/squishy/tall/short/soft/hard/hot/cold/yucky/weird/strange. And that Ben wants to go to the ocean so that he can go fishing on a boat. And that I'm okay, but that I miss him so much that I physically ache sometimes. I want him to crack some joke to make me laugh, and I want him to make fun of how often I cry, so it won't seem so bad... So it won't feel like this huge consuming hole is more real than he is.

Because sometimes I feel it sucking me in. And I feel like as soon as I let myself get close to the center of my pain its strength, like gravity, will pull me down and I won't be able to break free of it. And I'm tired of struggling against it, but I'm scared of what's down there.

And I hate that there's no way to fix this. For any of us. But a phone call, a phone call would help.