Please remember to pray for Janie and her doctors and her family today!
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Sometimes I feel resentful when God helps us with the little stuff like providing money to get our cars fixed and helping us find our lost wallets, but seems to ignore our pleas when it comes to big stuff like healing friends with cancer and saving dying children. It is a bit of a stumbling block for me. I feel like I should be able to prioritize God's tasks. "Okay God, this is an important one, so take care of this before you go finding anyone a job." I know it isn’t up to me to tell God what needs to happen and in what order. I know it doesn't work that way. Sometimes I really wish it did though. I just really, REALLY do.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Yesterday I was accidentally watching World Vision, I couldn't find the remote, and I saw the story of a young mother struggling to care for her children. They were all so beautiful. The father had left them. The mother was left to care alone for her five children, but when World Vision showed her story she only had three left. She worked so hard every day to make a good life for them. Her shack was tidy and even decorated with patterns on the wall that she had painted to make it pretty for her family. Her children were clean... but they were all starving. The field where she grew their food was barren and dry. She managed to scrape a meal together for her girls, but didn't eat anything herself. I can't even imagine. They showed her sitting there watching her girls eat with tears in her eyes. I know she wasn't crying for herself. I know she was wondering how long she could keep them alive. One was already very sick from malnutrition.
I tried to think of what that would feel like to watch your child starve to death. I tried to imagine Benjamin wasting away to nothing right in front of me. I couldn't. I can't even begin to know how that would feel. I worry when he refuses the supper I made him and wants to eat Zoodles day after day.
There are families all over our world who have to struggle just to keep their children alive. (My biggest struggle is how I can make Ben even happier than he is now, and to capture it all on film!) You can sponsor a child through World Vision online here. Or you could visit any of these other websites for information on making a donation or to find out about sponsoring a child.
Christian Children's Fund
Mennonite Central Committee
Saturday, August 20, 2005
My pirate name is:
Mad Bess Rackham
Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!
Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.
I'm going to remind all of you again a little later, but could you pray for my friend Janie? She has cancer and a big appointment on the 3oth of August with her oncologist. She's going to get an update on how the fight for her life is going and they are also going to make plans for future treatment.
We had a great visit this week and I didn't expect her to make me feel better about her cancer but she did. She's just sticking really close to Jesus through all of this. She really encouraged me and touched my heart. I love her so much! It is amazing to see how God is sustaining her and her family through her sickness, and when you talk to her you don't get the feeling that everything is all sunshine and flowers either. It's okay to cry and to question. It's okay to be scared and to feel tired. God will still be there. WHAT A BLESSING JANIE IS TO ME!
Father, thanks so much for Janie. Please heal her. Please help the doctors and her make the right choices for her treatment. Thank you so much for the way you have been her strength. Thank you for the way you have watched over her and for the way you are watching over her family. Please continue to touch her with your peace and with your joy, and please let her be healthy again so she can continue to bless the rest of us. I'm so grateful for a friend like Janie who can give when she is in need and who can encourage when she is suffering. Help me to be a friend like that to those around me. Help me to be more like Janie. Help me to be more like You.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Somedays... Okay... Everyday... Ben is so cute I can hardly stand it. He is such a nice little boy to be around. He is smiley and funny. He is just such a sweet little person. He has started giving hugs now and I LOVE IT! He just makes me so happy! Right now he is walking in circles just for fun. He is babbling away... "Delah, dulah... digga digga dugga." Every now and then he stops and shows me the pipecleaners he is holding and he laughs.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Yesterday I was in Walmart buying a birthday present in the toy section and I stumbled across one of my all time favorite children's books. Ben's still too little to appreciate it. His tastes run more towards, "On the farm the puppies say, "Woof! Woof! Will you play?" but I bought it anyways. It brings back such good Sesame Street memories.
That was a great show before going south...
So many of my favorite moments involve Grover... Remember that blue bald guy who always ended up being waited on at Charlie's Diner by lovable Grover? Then his order would get all messed up and he'd wonder, "Why do I keep coming back to this place?" (Kind of a dummy really... If I got rotten service over and over I'd... Oh wait. I'd go back. I live in Yorkton and that's pretty much the only type of service available here.)Remember Near - Far? Grover running up to the camera and then away from it... over and over. I liked Super Grover best of all. "My cute little ears hear a cry for help!" (Not mine, Grover's.)I love Grover so much...
My very favorite Sesame Street moment wasn't a Grover moment though. It was when all the adults finally found out that Mr. Snuffleupagus was real and not just a figment of Big Bird's imagination. We could see Snuffy, and Big Bird could see Snuffy, but no one else could. Something always happened to take him away before he could be introduced to everyone else. It was so frustrating! We couldn't be sure whether Big Bird was imagining him or not. All we knew was that nobody would believe Big Bird.
I read somewhere that was the main reason why it was decided that Snuffy needed to be revealed. They didn't want to send the message that adults won't believe children. So the grown-ups made a big deal in apologizing to Big Bird for not believing him. It was a big deal for children to be able to believe in things that others couldn't see... If Mr. Snuffleupagus was real, then anything was possible.
Wasn't Sesame Street great? I wish they would rerun all of the old episodes... I really do like Elmo, but he's still no Grover.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
This week we've been helping my pastor and his wife with their new house. We did some painting and some cooking. We also did some babysitting. It was fun. The girls were ADORABLE and SWEET and Ben really seemed to enjoy playing with them. Then they left. Everything went all quiet and peaceful. Ben got to play with his toys without getting pushed or yelled at. I got to eat chips without someone asking me why they couldn't have any... "They're too spicy." "I like spicy chips." "These are too hot, they'll burn your mouth, have some of these instead." "I want those ones!" "You can't have these ones." "But I want them!"
Here are my thoughts:
#1 Ben's getting older and smarter and there's nothing I can do to stop it. Pretty soon he's going to be whining and arguing and complaining. I don't feel ready. I only want a baby. What have I done?
#2 More children mean fighting children. I knew this before of course. I can clearly remember my Mom getting very frustrated with us fighting with each other and thinking, "What does she care? We're not fighting with her..." You can't grow up with three siblings and not know that brothers and sisters fight... LOTS. I'm not a stranger to babysitting for extended periods of time either. I know kids fight when they are together... I just forgot how irritating it is. I want another? Am I out of my mind? What am I thinking?
#3 At least my babysitting experience didn't end up with me caught in the middle of a mafia deal and one of the children dangling out of a skyscraper from a rope wearing a Thor helmet.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
Are you Addicted to the Internet?
The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Okay. Some of you have asked me how you would go about leaving a comment on this blog. My answer is simple. You aren't allowed to.
It's really very easy.
1st click on the comments link (in blue) at the bottom of each entry. Right now it looks like this: 5 comments
2nd you will be taken to a new page. There is a blank square with the heading Leave your comment all ready for you to write whatever your little heart could desire. So write it!
3rd you will need to Choose your identity. After you have done that you just click on the box with publish in it and bingo bango you've left a comment!
Wasn't that fun?
Family is an amazing entity in so many ways. Something that is amazing about family is its ability to sweep disagreements and hurts under the carpet. Then, the whole family just walks around the living room ignoring all the huge lumps and bulges just below the surface of the beige area rug.
Every now and then you stumble over a really big lump, maybe you knock over a lamp or a ceramic dog on your way down... But eventually the bumps and bulges get trampled flat. You hardly even remember doing any sweeping. Until the next time you feel snubbed, offended, injured... Then when you lift the carpet up to sweep the new conflict out of sight with the others you notice all the old hurts again. You don't feel them like you used to, they are flat and lifeless. Still, you notice that it is getting harder and harder to trample layer after layer into oblivion and you wonder what would happen if you ever tried to bring them out from under the carpet and really do a major spring cleaning...
I really hate any kind of cleaning though, come over if you want proof.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
My little brother Mikey has gone off and moved to British Columbia. Poor Benjamin is going to have his awesome Uncle Mike way off on Vancouver Island. I think this will need to mean lots of airplane rides for me, which isn't good because I have always been afraid of flying... Well not flying, landing really. That crash in Toronto is exactly how I expect every flight I am on to end up. I hate planes. I really do... What was I saying?
Oh yeah. I really am so excited for him. It will be a fresh start and a new adventure in his life. I really think this move will be good for him in so many ways. He needed to get out of a rut, I think.
I'm also completely devastated. I have always felt so protective of him. He's my little Ido Dido. (Just a note... I called Mikey Ido Dido starting when Mike was in Kindergarten which would have been 1983 and Fido Dido the cartoon character was first sketched on a napkin in 1985 so we weren't copying and came up with the name all on our own... Just thought you'd like to know.) I still remember watching when he first started playing hockey. He was the smallest on his team and his jersey went down past his knees. The puck would get shot to the end of the rink and Mikey would start off after it. Then it would go by in the other direction and he would make a wobbly turn and off he would go in the other direction, moving no more than five feet before someone would have shot it back to the other side... then yet another wobbly turn...Sigh. I'm getting all misty.
I am having so much trouble letting go. I just want everything good for him. I want him to find someone to share his life with, I want him to find an amazing job that he loves, and I want him to find God. It's a tall order. I don't know why deep down I feel like I need him here so I can make sure he is happy. I don't know why I think God can't find him if I'm not nearby. I can't tell you why I feel like I can protect him better if he is in the same province as me. I know I have no control over what choices he makes no matter what province he is in. I know that. I just...
Please pray for my Mikey. Pray that he finds a great job... Maybe something outside, he loves the outdoors. Pray that he makes good friends that care about him and that are a good influence on him. Pray that somehow he meets God out on Vancouver Island... Way far away from his big sister who loves him with all of her heart.