Friday, November 04, 2005

I don't get it... (No Patsy* jokes please.)

Okay, Scotty D tagged me. I wouldn't have done this if it wasn't an excellent opportunity to rant a bit. I'm supposed to tell you the five things people around me do that I don't get.

1) I don't get Smoking: (Especially smoking with Asthma.) I know it's addictive, I know it's hard to quit, I know you'll probably gain some weight, I know everyone dies eventually, but why wouldn't you want to prevent cancer or emphysema if you could? It just really makes no sense to me. Also it makes things smell gross. Also you have to go outside in the cold of winter to do it. I'm pretty sure if the only way I could eat chips was to go outside in -30 I would finally be able to ditch my chip problem.

2) I don't get Minivans: They're ugly and irritating and they seem to make the people who are driving them dumber. I know they are easier with kids and they're cheap, but so are stained sweatpants and do-it-yourself haircuts. To me minivans scream to the world, "I give up!" (I know a station wagon isn't much better... but it's still not a minivan.)

3) I don't get People Who Don't Signal: Just plain irritating and often dangerous. How hard is it? Once you get in the habit you don't even have to think about it. I have serious road rage and nothing irritates me more than careless drivers. (Also, it seems like people in gigantic trucks seem to be the worse culprits... and they're the ones who will crush you if you are in their way... how are you supposed to get out of their way if they don't signal? How I ask you?)

4) I don't get Going for Coffee: Why do people do this? I don't drink coffee and I hate being asked to "go for coffee." It makes me uncomfortable, I feel like I've turned into one of those old people in Martensville Family Restaurant who sit there all day glaring at teenagers. Why can't people just get together without the coffee? What's so great about coffee anyways?

5) I don't get Forwards: I don't get why people keep sending me email forwards with cute little poems or stories, that tell me if I love my friends, or if I don't want really bad luck I have to keep the message going. I hate those things. I never read them. I get all excited that I have an email from a friend and then it is not even from them. It's just a generic, usually cheesy, chain letter. There must be a reason people send them. I get TONS and TONS of them all the time. WHY PEOPLE? WHY?

There you have it. I want to know what Shirley, Trav, and my dad don't get. Shirley, because I know sometimes she doesn't know what to write about. Trav, because he almost never writes. Dad, because it will be funny. (Dad doesn't have a blog, even though he should, but he can just leave his on the comments section of this post.)



*For those of you who don't get the Patsy part of the title... In a musical a few years ago I played a dumb blonde whose most memorable lines were, "I don't get it," and "Can I go to the bathroom?" (Not my proudest moment... speaking of musicals... Why do people in Yorkton line up for EVERYTHING at least 2 hours in advance? Even the doctor's office? WHY?)

6 comments:

  1. becky played a dumb blonde.... i don't get it

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  2. There are a lot more than 5 things in this world that I don't get, but here are 5 of them in no particular order or importance.
    1. I don't get why coach's (Danny Barrett) won't change quarterbacks in a game until the game is so far in the toilet that even Dan Marino couldn't get it out of the hole.

    2. I don't get...when I am sitting in my boat fishing, other people come and park their boats really close to me, within 20 feet. PEOPLE, I don't have all the fish in the lake trapped in a small net under my boat. My fishing prowess is mostly in the story's, not the number of fish I catch. Ask anybody that has fished with me. So GET AWAY FROM ME.
    3. I don't get why when I am driving and I get close to another driver on the the road, my wife (bless her heart) will grasp the dashboard with one hand and the roof of the car with the other. She will do this at all times and at any time. A bird can fly across in front of us and wham, out will go her hands. Ask Becky she will tell you.
    4. I don't get...the lady standing in Walmart wanting to check my sales receipt before I leave the store. I just came through the till area, what do you think. I managed to sneak that barbeque past the cashier. Come-on.
    5. I dont get...why on earth when I take my dog for a walk, I have to watch him like a hawk, or he will find the stinkiest pile of whatever, and roll in it. He has rolled in it all. From a pile of human waste that some pig left beside a path in a provincial park, to a small dead mouse, that was rotting but still had enough odour to make my wife gag when I came back and let the dog in the house. Last weekend he had his bath and the next day when I took him for his walk he found something, I couldn't identify it, but it had a powerful aroma. I don't get it.

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  3. LOL. Yes I will vouch for Dad when it comes to what it's like to try and drive with my mom in the passenger seat. It's like she thinks that 1)We are in emminent danger of getting in an accident at any given moment, even if the only thing around is a gopher on the side of the road... and 2)If we do get in an accident her super powers will be strong enough to keep the roof from collapsing and will also prevent her from being pushed forward into the dash board.

    Someday one of us will be in an accident... and I bet the only injuries will be my Mom's broken wrists.

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  4. Station wagons rule!

    I don't get email forwards either. Especially when they come from people who I've explicitly told to not under any circumstances send me any email forwards of any kind whatsoever.

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  5. I hate forwards too. I tell people not to send them, but apparently they forget that. The worst ones are trying to get me to sign some petition from some Texan trying to keep the word "God" in Touched by an Angel. What good is my email going to do people? I'm not even American! And besides, the show isn't based on the Bible. And besides, so what if they can't say "God"? Go to a network that allows it. Get an issue people!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Scotty D

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  6. LOL. I'm so glad I'm not alone...

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