Thursday, December 15, 2005

My "Calling"

Last night my little friends Tori and Shae came over to visit Ben and me. Poor girls. Ben wouldn't leave them alone... I gave them some kind of crafty photo frame making sets and they had a pretty hard time keeping them out of Ben's mouth. I think they were pretty grossed out by the sliming job he did on their gifts. Heh heh.

Tori is a student I worked with as a T.A. a few years ago. I loved that job. Too bad subbing pays better, AND too bad that kids like Tori don't come along every day. She is a little sweetie pie and most T.A.'s don't get assigned to sweetie pies. (And subs absolutely NEVER run into sweetie pies, we're to busy dealing with the monster children who think a sub is there to be abused and taken advantage of... but the PAY!)

Sometimes I miss being in schools and sometimes I am so glad to be home. I have such a passion for teaching, it seems so unfair that I have never really had a chance to live my dream. Sigh. Sometimes I feel like my life is SO not what I planned. I feel like I have not reached my full potential as far as my career goes and IT IS SO DEPRESSING. I try not to think about it, but every now and then it sneaks in to the back of my mind and I can't help but feel a teeny bit cheated. I really expected to achieve a lot when I was younger. I thought I was going to be this amazing teacher that changed kids lives... And won awards... And people would write songs about me... And they'd make a movie based on my life... Seriously.

BUT here I am at home with the most precious little angel and I really wouldn't change that. I would hate to leave him to go to work. I love being with him. But every now and then I can hear my teaching dream way down at the bottom of my soul calling me. And I want to cry.

5 comments:

  1. Well if anyone writes your life story don't forget to tell them about our summers up at the lake.

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  2. Hey, If they wrote your life story and made it into a movie they'd have to hire a BUNCH of actors to play your family. I think they should hire Julia Roberts to play me. LOL Seriously, Becky, I can empathize. When I was a child I wanted to be a missionary. I wanted to run and orphanage and change the lives of the children of the country I worked in. Somehow, they were all little Mexican type kids, dark hair, dark eyes. I have always felt that I missed the entrance to the path i was supposed to walk. I am on a parallel path now, but it's not the same.

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  3. Becky,
    You have such a cute lttle boy, I can't wait to see your next one. Our family is having a bunch of babies being born this Spring. Yours, David's, and Robyn's. And two of them are here so I get to see them any time I want. Hey! I have a great idea. I was at the school board office the other day buying bus passes for my kids when I saw job postings. There are teching jobs out here too, Becky. Then if you and Glen moved here, half of your parents kids would be out here. Think of the incentive for the rest of your family. You and Mike could be responsible for giving your whole family a better quality of life. just kidding John. I know how much you like the cold wind and the snow and boosting your daughter's car. I wouldn't want to take that from you.

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  4. Oh Becky...I feel so connected to the feelings of this blog that...well I just can't even comment. I am calling you immediately.

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  5. i'm trying to think of who they would get to play me in the movie of your life... and all i'm coming up with is either arnie, or shrek... oh, who am i kidding.... it would be shrek

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