Thursday, January 31, 2008

Last Year in May & This Year 's Fashion Statements

May was a better month than April, but looking back it seems like I shut down a little bit. Which is okay, because everyone knows you have to shutdown to reboot. As a result most of the blogs were fairly trivial. This was my favorite light and happy post. (I kind of liked this one too though.) It has a sweet picture of Ben and a link back to another just like it, but taken a year earlier.

I love taking pictures of the boys. I haven't been doing very much of it lately, actually I haven't been doing very much of anything I usually do lately, but that's a topic for another day. I took a great picture of Sam the other day though. You know when you get a picture of someone that perfectly sums up who they are as a person? This is one of those pictures:
I posted a few more shots from that photo session over on his blog today. He is so fried, he makes me laugh.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

April Sucked

Looking back at my posts from April of 2007, I have come to a conclusion: That was probably one of the worst months of my life, if not the worst. It sucked ass. (Pardon my French, but it really did.) Just looking at the April posts upset me all over again.

I will say that one thing I appreciate as I look back at them is how real they are. Reading them brings me right back to that time, and all the feelings that I experienced while I watched my dad suffer and while I felt so many things I had taken for granted being ripped from me. Man, April sucked. I guess my favorite post was this one. (Probably because there is a song in it, but also because it perfectly sums up what living that month was like for me.)


(This is the only way I could think to post this.)

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Big Surprise

Since I can't think of anything to write, and I don't have anything to do right now because I live too far from Saskatoon to go out to the Samurai for Jonathan's birthday with everyone else, and since Mom posted a quiz on her blog today:

You Are Totally Like Your Mom

You and your mom are practically clones.
You think alike, and you even seem to read each other's minds.
You're definitely you're mother's child... and that's just fine with you.

There you have it. Heh heh.

Friday, January 25, 2008

I'm Back

What was with the construction sign? Where are the big sweeping changes? Why did it take me three days to take some lame Christmas decorations down? Because it did. That's why.

I'm grumpy tonight. No, not grumpy. Down, depressed, disappointed, disheartened, discouraged... And pretty much any other "dis" you can think of.


I'm also trying to figure out which post in March was my favorite with varying results. I'd actually like to skip right by March. It was a hard month for me last year. I remember saying over and over how much March sucked, not realizing that things were going to get harder, not better. But in the midst of that I had some happier posts. I think this one was my favorite, with this one running a close second. (Only because it took me hours to complete, otherwise I would probably pick this one, as I think it is well-written and honest, which is what I'd like my blog to be.)

So there you have it. The blog is back up and I wrote a new post. Three days in the making, and this is all you get. Sigh.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

February Fave(s)

February 2007 was all about pictures. I had an easy time picking my favorite, but then a hard time because it seemed like there wasn't enough there for it to be my favorite, so then I tried to pick something other people might like to see again, but then reminded myself that this was about what was MY favorite so...

My favorite post was Sambo: First Blood. It makes me laugh. The title, the photo, the caption... Perfection. Honorable mentions go to two other photo posts, My Valentines, and Photo shoot, shmoto shoot. I know they weren't particularly well written or thought-provoking, but I liked the pictures and the only other things really going on on the blog that month was the look back at the whole ducknapping incident, and a sad post about Mavis.

See what I mean about picking a favorite and then second guessing myself? I have five links in that paragraph and still I'm considering adding links to the posts about Melissa and Noah's birthdays. Argh! I did it. I couldn't stop myself.

Sigh. It's not like me to be so indecisive.

Friday, January 18, 2008

I'm It.

Mom tagged me. Since I'm not feeling very bloggy right now, but she's feeling like she'd like something to read in the evenings, I've decided to stretch things out a little and make this post last 12 days. (Not necessarily daily, or even one after the other.)

I'm supposed to go through my archives and list my favorite or most popular post for each month in 2007. I'll tell you right now that you won't be reading about my most popular posts were. For one thing, I have no idea how I would measure that. Number of comments would work if you people didn't comment so often on my dumbest posts and completely ignore my genius posts. Plus, there's the fact that I'm completely self-absorbed and I don't really care which posts other people like. So your gonna have to listen to me talk about my favorite posts. Here comes January's Favorite Post. Drum roll please?

January's favorite post has to be Dad's Birthday, which is no surprise since he's pretty much all I'm thinking about right now. It's hard to look back at posts a year ago though, because a year ago I had no idea what our family was in for in the next few months. I wrote that post wishing I could go back to a time when I was Daddy's little girl, not knowing that in year I'd be happy to just go back to a time when my dad didn't have cancer. The things you'd tell yourself if you could travel back in time, hey?

Honorable mention goes to My Hero, which had one of the key components that make a good post, in my mind anyways: A poorly Photoshopped picture of someone's head on someone else's body. That is always good for a laugh, and I think this one is particularly good.

Now here's my burning question: Is that your favorite? Or would you pick a different one?

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

And now for something completely different...

To cheer myself up I'm going to put up some pictures that will probably only interest a couple of you and, of course, me.

This Christmas I got to hang out with a friend who I haven't seen for seven years. SEVEN YEARS! It's so weird when that happens to close friends. I'm not sure why it does, but it seems to happen a lot. Or maybe it's just me... Either way here are some pictures of Princess Beverly and her family (I didn't get a shot of her hubby though) hanging out with my family:


This is Ben and Joshua. They are the same age. Actually, Josh is older by two weeks. LOL. Bev mixes lawn fertilizer into his cereal. Ben liked him. A lot.
Here are Austin and Sam. Sam is actually older than Austin by, I think, around four months. (Is that right Bev?) Austin's lawn fertilizer is mixed right into his bottle.

Here are all four of them together. What's missing from this picture? A girl or two. That's what.

Here they are.
Yes, I know. Not very exciting for anyone but Bev, Angerama, and me. I'm not in a very entertaining mood right now though, I'm much more interested in being entertained. I'm gonna go look through some blogs and try one more time to beat Trav at scrabble.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

This Sucks

The stupid furnace stopped working again. After fighting with our furnace guy already over an extra hour of labor that he billed us, I don't feel like calling him to tell him whatever he did a week ago didn't work. Not that it matters. Since it's 6pm, he's closed. Argh.

The SaskEnergy guy is here and seems to think he can make the broken fan take us through till tomorrow. I guess if he isn't right then he'll have to come back.

We're so poor. And getting poorer.

I'm so grumpy.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Please Pray

Tomorrow is my dad's stem cell transplant. I am not handling this well. I'm a little bit emotionally unstable, so if you talk to me in the next day or so and I start crying for no good reason, that's the reason. I really REALLY want to be there. But I live in Yorkton, and I have a cold. So I can't.

But I'll be fasting and praying, and I hope all of you will pray with me. Here are some things that you could pray for:

  1. Kidneys. Chemo is hard on kidneys, and Dad's are already pretty messed up so they are struggling a bit right now. Pray that no further damage has been done and that they would perk up and be able to do their job.
  2. Infections. The chemotherapy Dad had yesterday will completely knock out Dad's immune system for a week or more. While he has no immune system he is very vulnerable to infections of any kind. Pray that he doesn't get sick and that his immune system comes back quickly.
  3. Cancer cells. It's very important that this last chemo kills all of the cancer in Dad's body. Pray that there isn't even one cell left behind. We don't want this cancer to ever come back.
  4. Transplant. While Dad gets his transplant tomorrow he will be hooked up to a heart monitor because the preservative his stem cells are stored in can cause problems with his heart and respiratory system. Pray that there are no problems. Pray that the doctors would be at their best, and that if there are any problems they are able to fix them quickly.
  5. Stress. I'm stressed. We're all stressed. I never realized before how cancer can be so wearing on the family physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. Right now I'm finding it hard to breathe, hard to sleep, hard to stop crying, and even hard to pray. I'm so desperate for this to work out that the only thing I can think to say is "Please."
So please pray with us. We need you. You can check out The John Braun Page for more detailed explanations and updates.

In the meantime, here's some video that I wanted to post here, but couldn't find, of my dad enjoying one of his grandsons.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Oh for...

Many of you may already know that our fridge broke while we were on vacation. Sadly, it took about a week till the smell was strong enough that our cat sitters smelled it on their way down to our basement to feed the felines. What they discovered, I've been told, defies description. Rancid meat, curdled ice cream, and fermenting orange juice ran together and then seeped down from the freezer into the fridge.

Poor Harv and Shirley had to throw out ALL of our food (excluding one container of popcorn from the freezer and one bottle of ketchup from the fridge) and then sopped up the worst of the mess. It still stunk when we got home. Lucky for me I have a pretty intense cold right now so the mess that was left for me wasn't bad enough to make me gag... That much. I have to confess I did dry heave a few times when I unscrewed the bottom panel on the freezer to discover this:Mold gets to me people. It really does. And that fridge was covered in mold. Even the undersides of the fridge shelves had mold on them. It was a mold explosion. It was mold-palooza. I'm so glad I didn't have to see the worst of it. After the fridge guy came and did his thing for half an hour and left me with a bill for $180.00, I spent around three hours scrubbing and bleaching. (Ben "helped".) It was good times. Then we went to the grocery store to begin to restock our fridge and freezer with the approximately $150.00 of food items that were spoiled in the Great Meltdown of 2007.

Oh well, it was done. Or was it? Our problems were over. Or were they?

The next day, today actually, I woke up to a cold house. Our furnace was broken. But it only cost $240.00 to repair so, with money to burn, I went out and bought myself some street drugs.


Plus I broke my sunglasses. That's another $14.00 down the tubes. When will it end?!?!?!?

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

All I Need: UPDATED

I want Dad to be healthy, or at least alive for a really long time. I want him to be able to sit on the floor as long as he likes and play cars with Ben. I want him to be able to lift up Sammy by the back of his pants and chase him up and down the hallway. I want him to come out to Yorkton for the weekend and sit on my couch and complain that he's bored because I don't have TSN. I want to think of him and not get a worried sick feeling in my stomach. I want to go the lake with Mom and Dad and listen to my mom complain because my dad still hasn't returned from an early morning fishing trip and it's almost noon. I want to swim in the dirty old dugout with him and laugh like crazy when he gets a leach on his back that he can't quite reach. I want to forget about his birthday because it's just another in a long line of birthdays stretching way into the future, not because I'm stressed, and tired, and can barely remember what month it is...

A while ago that wouldn't have seemed like very much to ask, but right now it's EVERYTHING. I want all those things so badly it hurts... There's a deep cold ache deep in my soul that I try not to think about or acknowledge. It's easier to stress about fridges, and the girl at Superstore crushing my groceries on that stupid conveyor belt thing. I don't stress about Dad very often because I can't face it. If I let myself think about what is on the line...

Because what is on the line is my everything. I once heard someone say that your father defines your world and it really couldn't be truer. My dad has affected who I am, what I believe, and how I choose to live. I can't imagine my world making sense without my dad in it. I need him here. I need him for dumb things like fixing my house, and telling me what tool to buy, and making fun of Mom, and taking us car shopping. And I need him for big things like making me laugh, and praying for me, and hugging my mom in the kitchen, and showing me how to love my children, and being the best grampa ever. My soul feels so wrapped up in his, that I wonder who I would be without him. Right now I feel like maybe the world would end if he wasn't here. I know that's not true, I know I would find a way to exist in a world without him, but even the thought of it... Is unimaginably awful.

He's everything to me. So all I need is... All. Everything.

So he's going to get better. There isn't another option. And all those things that seemed so ordinary a while ago... When we get them back... They're going to be amazing.


UPDATE: Interested in more sap? Ang has a birthday post for Dad up on her blog too. Bring a kleenex.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Yew Rear's Nesolutions: REVISED

Another year has come and gone. It's time to reflect and assess our accomplishments and growth, and set goals for the year to come. It's time to make some New Year's resolutions. Oh, the joy and bliss, I can hardly stand it. I better get on with it before it overwhelms me. Let's roll...

We'll start with a look back at last year's resolutions...

  • I resolve to try at least one new menu item at Boston Pizza instead of always ordering the same thing.
  • I resolve to create and move every single person I know into fabulous houses in my SIMS neighborhood.
  • I resolve to come up with a new catch phrase that my sister and I can use to amuse ourselves and confuse and irritate others.
  • I resolve to watch every new episode of Grey's Anatomy, even if I have to tape it and watch it at one in the morning.
So, how did I do?
  • Check. Yessssssssss. I knew I could do it.
  • Uhhh... Check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, check, and check. Actually, that still leaves a few. I let us down. Shame on me.
  • How could I have forgotten? We are living in a society after all. Check that.
  • Mc Check.
Not bad. Two and a half out of four. That's a pass. I have to say I'm pleased with how well making attainable resolutions worked out for me last year. I think I'll stick with it for this year. Here we go:
  • I resolve to try something new at Saigon in Saskatoon this year instead of always ordering the same thing.
  • I resolve to finish the lame cross stitch that I've been working on for the past four years and to post pictures of my progress to keep myself accountable.
  • I resolve to continue my quest to re-create my existence in the land of SIMS, starting with the addition of the Walker, Bennetch, and Vandersluys families and the construction of the Midtown Mall.
  • I resolve to "accidentally" break Glen's glasses so he has to get new ones. I can NOT go through another year looking at those things. I can't and I won't.
There. That should keep me busy for the next twelve months. I only hope I can find the time to fit it all in.