Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Urgent Prayer Request: UPDATED

Dad's low blood pressure continues to cause problems. The doctors feel that it may be because his arteries were hardened by the cancer. They are giving him a medication that may be able to repair some of that damage and raise his blood pressure. This medication NEEDS TO WORK. If it doesn't he will have to go back into ICU to receive a drug that will raise his blood pressure, but that is not a long term solution, and without a long term solution they can't do dialysis and obviously his heart will eventually shut down.

We need a miracle here.

UPDATE: (From my mom.)

As you know, we have had a very scary week so I am so happy to tell you that John has had a good day. His blood pressure has not been a problem while on the dialysis machine to get some more of the accumulation of fluid off of him. Pray that this trend continues.

John was up today and took a walk with the guy from physical therapy. He is weak and his back and hip hurt due to hardly being able to stick his big toe out of bed. They will come now daily to try to get him back to where he was before all of this.

Thank you all for praying!!! I can not express what this has meant to us. It gives us hope when there seems to be none.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

This Makes Me Laugh

I seriously LOL every time I watch this:



(For some dumb reason, the video isn't consistently showing up on here... ??? Try hitting refresh and if that doesn't work click here to watch it.)

Saturday, September 26, 2009

I Still Can't Think of a Title

I posted this over on Dad's blog, but I thought I'd post it here for any of you not on facebook and who may not check his site every day...

So, not a great day. Not even a blah day. Just a day that I can't even find a word to express how much I wish that it wasn't like this.

(Please bear with me, I'm going to try to explain things as close to how Mom explained them to me as I can, but... Well, I'm doing my best. Hopefully I remember it all right.)

I think it started out all right. The doctors said that he didn't have a clot in his leg. There was no pain or redness and the other leg started doing it a little too, so it is obviously something else. So that's good.

He has a touch of pneumonia I guess, but he's on antibiotics, so I don't think anyone is too worried about that. I don't think he has a fever or anything. But he was out of breath, and his blood pressure was low, so one of his doctors decided to do an ECG to see how his heart was doing. It was racing and beating irregularly again so they had to shock it back into a regular rhythm. Mom stayed in the room with him, she is one tough cookie, my mom.

Then they moved him to intensive care. They want to put him on a drug that will keep his heart rate steady, and apparently they need to have him in intensive care to be able to monitor him. They also ran a whole bunch of tests to make sure he was all right and to see what was going on. It turns out he had a heart attack. This may have been caused by any number of things, including the blood clot that Mom mentioned in the last post. It could also be caused by his low blood pressure which may have been caused by the dialysis which also may have caused his heart to race and beat irregularly in the first place... You see how everything is all connected and complicated?

Anyways... I talked to him and he told me not to freak out. My words, not his. His words were to not go somewhere where I don't need to go, which is obviously to the not-so-merry old land of "I'm never going to see my dad again". It's not very easy to keep from freaking out when the "H" word starts getting used. I guess I'm getting used to the "C" word by now, because that used to be terrifying all by itself.

Mom says they will have more news tomorrow morning. It better be good-ish. Or at least not bad-ish, because I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm really not sure how much more of this I can take. (Or any of us.)

I bought plane tickets today to go see them at the beginning of November. I wish they were for tomorrow. Does anyone have some money they don't need that they'd like to use to fly us all out there? I need to pet Dad's hair. I'm sure it will irritate him, but I really need to just stand by his bed and pet him.

I hope next week is better. This is getting really hard. (As if it wasn't already hard.) Thanks so much for praying. I'm sure it's the only thing keeping my mom as calm as she is.

I'm trying to think of something else to write, because when I'm done with this post I'll have nothing left to do but try to sleep... Maybe some Farm Town...

Love you all. Hug someone you love, and maybe even pet their hair a little...

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

AHHHH! Everyone run for your lives!!!

Apparently, this guy got released by accident in Regina a couple of weeks ago. The resulting panic is tickling my funny bone, I have to admit. Especially the uproar over the public not being notified for TWO WHOLE WEEKS!!! Oh noOOOoooOOOooo!

LOL. Seriously. LOL.

If you haven't read the story already, here's what he was in for: assaulting a police officer, failure to appear, breach of probation, and mischief charges. Scary stuff! I'll admit, assaulting a police officer sounds bad, but let's all just take a deep breath and maybe have a popsicle or something.

The story could be as simple as this. Guy is drunk. Guy makes mischief in bar. Bar calls police. Police try to remove guy and calm him down. Guy spits on police, or even, GASP! throws a drunken punch. Guy then gets arrested and sentenced with a teeny bit of time in jail and then is let out on parole. Guy is still an idiot and breaks his parole and then doesn't show up for another trial. Admittedly, I don't know that much about the law, so maybe I'm way off base, but come on.

There are rapists and murderers running around who have never been caught at all. Ever. And then there are the molesters and violent offenders who got pathetic sentences and are out on parole stalking their next victims even as I write this. But let out one (or two) small time mischief making, police assaulting moron and... Eeeeeeeeeeeee! I don't feel safe anymore!

Granted. It's not good that the corrections system can't seem to keep track of their criminals. I will grant that. "Who will they let out next?" is a fair question. Although, I would imagine they would take more care with someone really dangerous, cause this guy? I'm thinking... Not that dangerous, just dumb, and probably pretty jazzed about his stroke of luck.

And to top it all off, just because the whole thing wasn't already funny enough, the picture of him that I got off of a news page? It's saved as "escapee_0.jpg". If they LET YOU GO does that count as escaping? "Ontheloose.jpg" would have been much more accurate. And also, why is it labeled with a "0". Are they planning on letting out more and they want to be able to use "escapee" again? Ha ha ha! I haven't laughed this hard since Ang said, "Whatever. You want me to roll this kid or what?"

Good way to end the day.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Button

Hannah's blog has been up for a while now, it's just not really what I want it to be. What I wanted was to grow some sweet peas and then have a sunny and pretty photo shoot of her lying on the grass surrounded by them. I bought the seeds and everything. I just never got around to planting them. So Hannah's blog stayed on hold. Till now.

My mom is no longer willing to wait till I get everything looking just how I'd like it to look, so I put up the link in my sidebar today. I think I give up and the blog is just going to have to be what it is. If you've never worked on one, blog templates take a lot of time to get just right. (For instance, I know Carrie worked on my blog for hours and hours, and some of you who use Windows Explorer are still not seeing it how it's supposed to look.) Since I can't even seem to find enough time to update all the blogs I could update, I think I'm going to have to settle for what I have as far as how Hannah's blog looks. It's fine. Really. It is. And I'm sure none of you care anywhere as much as I do anyways, and since I've been looking at it this way for months, there's really no point in not letting you see it too.

And just to peak your interest, here's a photo of Hannah's little button. She is such a smiley baby that even her little tummy wears a smile.

Monday, September 07, 2009

Limping

This post could also be titled:

  • Why you should never let your kids dig underwater holes at the beach.
    or

  • Crutches would seem like a much better idea if Hannah would stop being so lazy and walk where she needs to go instead of relying on me to carry her.
    or

  • Frozen corn, not just a tasty side dish.
    or

  • My fancy new treadmill is really going to come in handy over the next few weeks. (Or not.)
    or
  • Another day, another color: The ever-changing vista of my ankle.

Of course, "Limping" is much more concise and, when it comes down to it, it manages to describe how I'm feeling all around much better anyways. It's not just the ankle, I'm a little down in the dumps I guess for some good reasons, and some dumb reasons, and some reasons that aren't even mine.

I've done this to my ankle quite a few times actually. Once I did it the first time (on a trampoline at Redberry Bible Camp in grade nine) it didn't take much to do it again. (I remember being on crutches a lot in High School.) That's how life is though, isn't it? Once you've been hurt in a certain way, it's pretty likely that you'll find yourself hurt in the same way again with even the smallest stumbling block. (Or submerged hole in my case.) One minute you're walking along healthy and happy and the next minute you're ripped to shreds by... Whatever. And each time the recovery seems to take longer and is less complete. You find that part of yourself getting weaker and weaker and you never get back the strength you once took for granted.

But let's not talk about that right now. It's depressing. And really, not helpful... Focusing on an injury just makes it seem worse. And since I'm not in the mood to talk about the things that have me limping along, none of this is really making any sense to anyone but me is it?

So why the photos? Which are literally focussed in on something painful?

Mostly, I'm just putting them up so my mommy can come on here and see them and say something mommy-like and sympathetic, but also because I find this sort of thing ever so slightly fascinating. Painful, and irritating, but fascinating. See how on day one it just swelled in one localized lump? On day two it's just as swollen I think, only now it's all spread out and red. More puffy, less lumpy. I'm expecting some bruising for my day three photo instead of just the redness. We'll see. I don't bruise very easily so I'm trying to prepare myself to be disappointed.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Ben's First Day of School: The Return


He came back on the right bus. But let's back it up again so I can tell you about the rest of the day... Because I know lots of you were wondering.

After I left my sweet Benjamin at school I came home and called my mom. I felt better after that. But I also decided that I did not feel comfortable leaving Ben at school for lunch as planned without at least checking in on him.
(Even though I was pretty sure he would be fine without me, I knew I wouldn't be.) So at lunch time, while Glen watched Sammy and Hannah, I drove to Ben's school.

I stood in the hallway outside his door and waited while Ben's teacher wrapped up the morning and started getting ready for noon hour. I listened to her cheerful directions while she helped the kids get their lunch kits, and while they helped her count out how many napkins they'd need for lunch in their sweet little voices, and while she sang a little prayer with them. And I felt myself steadily relaxing.


After the bell rang I stepped just inside the door and Ben noticed me right away. He skipped up to me. "You sneaked right in and my teacher didn't even notice!" he said to me with his typical gestures and earnest full body nods. She did notice of course, but I laughed with him. "Yes, Mommy is sneaky isn't she?"


I asked him if he still wanted to stay for lunch and he did so I sent him off to wash his hands with the rest of the kids. His teacher came to talk to me, told me he'd been doing fine, and that he'd stopped crying before she got to him. I thought, "And how long did it take you to get to him?" but I kept that thought to myself and I didn't even have to struggle to manage it. I was just happy that he seemed happy as I'd hoped he would, so I said goodbye to him and I told him that he'd be taking the bus home and that his teacher would help him find the right one. I told him I'd be waiting for him when he got off.

Sammy and I spent the afternoon in the park with some friends and then we drove to the school to wait in the van and watch Ben get on the bus. He did, but I noticed his teacher going back and forth from the bus to the classroom so I decided to check and make sure everything was all right. It was all right, but the bus driver was a little confused about where to drop him since he wasn't the one who picked him up. He was the one who called me dear when I told him in despair, "I put my five-year-old on the wrong bus on his first day of Kindergarten!!!" We got everything figured out and Ben was off again with a quick wave and a "Hi Mommy!"

I zoomed home and waited in the driveway for the school bus to drive by our house again. When they arrived I snapped another quick picture, this time on the right bus, with the right bus driver. Then I asked Ben the big question, "How was your day buddy?"

It was good. He liked snack time the best, but he wonders why I forgot to come at snack. I tell him that I won't come at snack or at lunch anymore if that's okay. It is. He tells me he liked the new bus driver best. Better than your teacher? Yes. I laugh, and I have to admit, the bus driver IS pretty friendly and he DOES drive a pretty cool school bus. I'm already feeling better about his teacher though, and I hope she grows on Ben too. I'm sure she will. It's just pretty hard to compete with a guy with a bus in the meantime...

Ben starts crying near the end of our conversation. He says he's very hungry. He isn't crying his hungry cry though, this is his exhausted and overwhelmed cry. There's a pretty big difference. His bottom lip always trembles in this terribly sweet and sad way. So I suggest Boston Pizza to cheer us up. There's nothing like bugs and cheese to celebrate a day of big steps and little victories.

We made it.


(And yes, even as I write this, I see that I am, by any definition, one of "those" parents.)

Ben's First Day of School: The Send Off

I put him on the wrong bus. Yes, I sent my sweet little five-year-old off on his first day of school on the wrong bus. But, let's "back the bus up" a little before I get into that.

I woke him up nice and early and sat him down for breakfast. He wanted a ham and mustard roll, and I talked him into having milk and some toast too. Then I helped him pick out his clothes. He picked his shark shirt to wear, mostly because I hid his new Transformers shirt. He can wear that next day. He's wearing sandals to school with socks, because I think bare feet at school (even if it's just walking from the shoe rack to his inside shoes in the classroom) is unsanitary. He got dressed and came upstairs to go to the bathroom so I could help him comb his hair.

His socks were pulled up as high as they could go. My sweet nerdy little man in his shorts and socks and sandals. Sigh. I encouraged him to skoink them down a little, which he was not impressed with at first because it felt funny, but by the time we left for the bus he'd forgotten all about his socks. I wanted to leave nice and early so I could film a little "before school interview" at the bus stop, so we headed downstairs to say goodbye to Daddy. Big hugs, and we're off.

Only... Why is the bus already here? It's not even 8:30 and it's only supposed to be here at 8:36? Maybe because it's the first day? Maybe they need more time? Maybe I read the schedule wrong? "Run Benny!"


So we ran to catch the wrong bus. I took a picture of him in front of it and sent him off. I could barely see the top of his little blond head in the window. He's so small. My heart broke a little and I cried a bit as I walked back to the house.
Then I started thinking, why was the bus here so early? Did I put him on the wrong bus? So I waited in the driveway, and sure enough, a few minutes later another school bus drove right by our house. I caught it it and asked the bus driver, "What school does this bus go to???" Ben's school.

Panic. More tears. The bus driver calling me dear. Me driving frantically to the public school, which is thankfully attached to the Catholic school Ben is going to. I manage to make myself stop crying in time to help Ben off the wrong bus and take him to his classroom, thinking the stress is over, now for the fun.


Not so much. The teacher is too busy with all the parents who couldn't be bothered to go to the Kindergarten orientation night that the rest of us went to. She doesn't even greet Ben. Just hands me a name tag for him and is off again with the slacker parents, bringing them up to speed. Becky is not happy, but tries to stay perky for Ben who is now sitting alone at a table (where he's been told to sit) trying to figure out a puzzle and starting to cry because he can't.

Oh help. He's doing that face that he does only when he's really upset but trying not to be. He's so little and my heart is breaking for him and his teacher barely has any time to listen to me ask her to call me if he needs me at lunch, and tell her that he's already crying a little so please... ???

She says he'll be fine.

I help him with his puzzle a little and take a few pictures. I hug my sweet baby boy goodbye and tell him to have lots of fun on his first day of school!!! And then I leave him there with someone who barely noticed him come in the door.

My precious little treasure.