Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Dear Becky,

Sheila remembers being a kid and thinking that 2000 was soooooooooooo far away and that it was supposed to be in the way future with spaceships being a common form of travel.

I laughed when I read that. It reminded me of being in high school and sitting at our computer with the black screen and white writing and figuring out how old I'd be when the year 2000 rolled around. (Twenty four.) And then I wrote a letter to myself on the computer with the black screen and white writing and saved it for future Becky to read in the year 2000.

Now don't get all excited here. I'm not about to post that letter for all of us to laugh at. I have no idea where it is, or what it said. I just remember writing it and thinking how profound I was.

So, to make up for the missing letter from the past, I've decided to write past Becky a letter from the future, because I'm sure time travel is just around the corner and I'll be able to send it to her any day now, and I have some pretty important things I'd like to get off my chest. (Ha ha. Don't worry, you'll get the joke in a bit.)

Dear Becky from the past,

This is future Becky here. Really it is. (If you don't believe me wait till your driver's license goes missing and then go look in the closet in a pencil case in the upstairs bedroom. You know where I'm talking about.) Anywho, I have some things to tell you, so listen up.

First, he doesn't like you. He will never like you, and even if he did, he would drive you completely crazy within a month or so, or he'd dump you for someone prettier and way out of his league before you know it, so give it up now. You know who I'm talking about.

Second, your boobs will do that too. I know you think that only boobs in African countries look like that, but the fact is that the only reason you don't see white people's boobs looking like that is because their boobs aren't usually out in the open wandering around in front of someone with a camera from National Geographic. It's not because white people's boobs are naturally more perky, and it's not even because there are no bras out there. So enjoy those boobs while you can, because trust me, they won't last.

Third, warming up your feet by holding them over a lantern in a tent is NOT a good idea. Neither is sleeping with your pillow near an open fire. In general, it's best for you to stay away from any sort of open flame or hot surface.

Fourth, ah... What's the point? We both know you won't listen to me anyways. Just remember what I said about the boobs. I know it's not something you want to hear, but it's best that you know what's coming so you can prepare for it.

All my love from the future,
Future Becky

6 comments:

  1. That's exactly what I thought about the boobs! How sad it was that their boobs looked like that. Ahh. Silly me.

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  2. Hey! Are you trying to say my boobs aren't perky?

    LOL.





    masance

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  3. You forgot to tell her about being careful with knives or any other sharp objects and not to go to my cousin and have your hair cut short. If you could get her to avoid that bad hair cut you could save her a lot of trauma. Oh and while you are at it let her know that she will pass her driving test of the second chance with flying colours so not to cry when she abysmally flunks the first try.

    tupri (there has to be a subliminal message in here somewhere, I will probably have an eureka moment about it in my dreams tonight)

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  4. :)

    Oh, Becky, you're so funny.

    The boobs! Dear God! The boobs!

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  5. What a good post!
    You should also remind her to be careful when riding double on a bike.
    This would make for a good school assignment except that they haven't lived enough to offer much advice.

    lol Sheila!!!

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  6. yah, those boobs... they were so much better back then... TOO FUNNY!

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