It's been a rough week for me. I miss my dad. So much. This week.
Who knows why it's especially bad right now, it just is. Maybe it was Uncle Jake's visit. Maybe it was noticing how old Ben seems lately. Maybe it's because two years ago at this time Mom and Dad were getting ready to come out here to be with us when Hannah was born. Maybe it's just that sometimes when life seems overwhelming in any way, I miss knowing he was there, just a phone call away. Anyways, I miss him.
So let's work on distracting me for a bit. Mom said a few weeks ago that I should do the 30 Day Song Challenge. So, in typical Becky style, I've been working on completing the whole list for a while now so I could start posting them, knowing in advance exactly where I'm going. (I finished the list last night.)
Day one is "Your Favourite Song." I have a lot of favourites, but if I have to pick just one, it would have to be this one:
I love hymns. And this one in particular speaks to me. I remember a time in my life when I kept telling God, "When I fix this one thing..." and then another thing, and still another thing seemed to come up for me to push Him away with. I wanted to be worthy of Christ's gift before I could accept it. I still feel like that. A lot. A very lot. A very lot times infinity.
But when I listen to this song I hear that I am just where I need to be. Just as I am. Just me. And I could be doing so much better in so many areas of my life, but I don't need to be to be loved. God sees all of my weaknesses, all of the stupid things I do, he sees them and He loves me, ALL of me. The good parts, and the stupid parts. Just. As. I. Am.
(Hey! I just realized why I love Bridget Jones so much. How did I never notice that before? Bridget! I'm going to watch that tomorrow. Or read it. One or the other.)