Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Your Work on Earth

Hi Dadaloo. I called your work again today. This time I talked to Brenda, not just some guy who never even knew you. She thinks your stuff may all still be there hanging on the walls in your office.

As soon as I heard her voice I burst into tears. Poor Brenda. I couldn't even explain why. Maybe because it was nice to hear the voice of someone who knew you and loved you too, because I remember calling you at work and talking to her, because she said they had all just been talking about you this week, because she asked about the boys and it reminded me of how proud you were of them and how many stories you made them listen to about them, because I know that you still had it in your head that you were going to go back to work there.

Or maybe because it reminded me that you were here. You were here and now you're not and I miss you so bad. And because if I go down there to get your stuff I know the pictures of the boys will be of them so young, and there won't be any of Abbey and Hannah. Or Nathaniel. And it hurts that you've missed so much already.

Probably because of all of those things all at once. But now I can't stop crying.

It still seems like a huge mistake that you're not here with us. Working for a living. Coming home with crazy stories about something the new guy did. And putting up new pictures of your grandkids in your office at the grain terminal.

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