Friday, November 20, 2015

Wait For It Again

So I didn't apply for that job.

There were a few good reasons. One of them was I really didn't feel like the timing was right. I didn't want to start my first real job recovering from surgery. And I knew there were going to be some huge challenges that I was pretty nervous about taking on when I wouldn't even be 100% healthy. But I told myself I could and should at least try, and had almost talked myself into applying. Then, on the evening that applications were closing I read a friend's blog post about her own unproductive and depressing search for the perfect job. And she was waiting. She wasn't desperately just grabbing anything that came along. The right job wasn't there, which stunk, but in the meantime she wasn't applying for the wrong jobs.

That seemed right in my heart. "Be patient," I thought to myself. And I felt peace.

And then last night a friend texted me the news... I would have very likely got it. And it's almost certain they would have been okay with waiting till December for me to start. I would have got to work right alongside a teaching hero of mine, and I would have made a whole bunch of money, and got some amazing experience. I might have used a cuss word. What had I done? I should have applied! Sure, there were some things that I was worried about, but IT'S A JOB. Who cares? I could have figured it out and then toughed it out.

But today I applied for another job that was posted yesterday, the day after I could have been hired for the first job. And this job. THIS job. THIS JOB!!!!! Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I want this job. It's a wildest fantasy type job. And I couldn't have applied for it if I'd already taken the other.

So I am hoping hoping hoping that the voice in my heart telling me to wait, making me feel nervous about applying for the job was God's voice. I'm hoping hoping hoping that when I felt so right about just being patient and applying for something I really want, it was God with something perfect waiting just around the corner.

Can you hope with me? And pray?

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