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Showing posts from August, 2006

Chapter Three: Ben Gets a Leash

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He likes it. He thinks it's a seatbelt and he is big into seatbelts lately.

I still let him go off-road to do a little helter skelter wandering...

Chapter Two: Becky Gets a Backbone

Today I went back to that blog to see if anyone else commented after I responded to that "poor mothering" comment. A few people stood up for me which prompted this comment from my accuser:

"I am not accusing anyone of bad parenting. I am saying that toddlers on the loose in traffic is bad parenting. I am saying some sort of retaining device or strategy is necessary, excusable, justified. I do not look at leased children and frown; I do not observe yelling children held hostage in carts as cruel. I deem them safe. Sometimes teachers ignore the needs of a child. They may mean no harm but still, I think it bad teaching...Just as some of you would call my comments unnecessary and deem them bad. There I said it for you. Sometimes intentions are not enough. Good must prevail. I do not want to run over a child because he escaped the grasp of a well-meaning parent doing the best she could do. Do better, I say. If it takes a village to raise a child, this villager does not want t…

The truth hurts.

I love Ben and Sam. I never want anything to hurt them. I want them to have the very best of everything, including me.

I remember the first week Ben was born, rocking him while he cried, and thinking, "I've made a huge mistake." I realized that my heart was no longer safe. A piece of it was out of my control, and soon it would be walking around without me. The thought of anything happening to Ben was devastating. The realization that someday I wouldn't be able to comfort him with my embrace was just as bad. The sure knowledge that someday he would look at me and find me lacking... I can't even describe.

I have seen shows on Oprah about mothers who have lost their children due to some dumb mistake and thought, "That would never happen to me." I was going to be a careful mother. I was going to be vigilant. But it's not enough. It doesn't matter that every fibre of my being is screaming at me to protect my boys with everything I am. My brain has gone…

I have to show you.

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I was looking at some old pictures of Ben at Sam's age cause people have been saying they think Sam is fatter than Ben was and I've been saying they look the same. And guess what? They look the same.


Also, I'm craving nachos. If you see this, Glen will you bring home some green peppers and some sour cream? Thanks guy.

Some funny pictures of Bentron:

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Ben hatching a plan in his sleep to trap Noah in a corner and hug him.

Ben eating icecream. (Uhhh.. No kidding Becky.)

Ben"peeing". Heh heh.

All Hail The Supreme Dictator

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Remember when you were a little kid and you got to sit on your dad's lap and "drive" his truck? I do. Driving always seemed like it would be so much fun. I always had it in my head that it involved a lot of both-hands-on-the-wheel, back-and-forth type motions. Sadly, reality is not at all like that. It mostly involves holding the wheel steady with the occasional tiny motion to keep the car going straight, punctuated by some intersections and corners. Blah. So boring.

When I was a little kid my idea of driving was actually a lot closer to what it is like to drive bumper cars. Why can't driving be like that? We could all get new cars that have those big rubber bumpers on them and then when someone or something gets in your way... Wham! Easy. The government could put rubber railings on all of the roads so we wouldn't even have to worry about lanes or signaling or any of that crap. Just... WHAM! Coming through people.

Of course, to be realistic, highway driving would n…

Summer Daze

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I love the lake. The beach in particular. Especially in the early evening when the wind dies down and everything is calm and quiet. Sigh. We have a lake that is only a half hour away. It's my favorite thing about living in Yorkton and it's not even really in Yorkton. I love it there. I'm so sad that Glen has to go back to work and our days at the beach are almost over. Sigh.

Loving Sam

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I'm not one of those women who instantly bonds with her babies. Essentially, I feel like I am bringing a stranger home with me. Oh don't get me wrong. I love them from the start, just not that much. (I know. Not nice, but it's the truth.)

Last time with Ben it wasn't as noticeable, but my love for him grew gradually. This time when I brought Sam home it seemed much worse because I was deeply in love with Ben... And Sam... Not so much. I know! It seems terrible to me too! I'd like to be able to say that from the moment I looked at him my love for him was complete. Overwhelming. Limitless. That's what I expected to feel.

Only I didn't. And oh... The GUILT. Especially this time. Last time I wondered a little why I felt so disconnected from Ben at the beginning, but I just put it down to the fact that he was an emergency c-section. I have read that that can make difference. This time I had to deal with resenting Sam for taking me away from Ben. It really bothered…

A little light afternoon heresy...

This morning I dropped by the VBS at my church and I was treated to some singing and a skit. In the skit (sketch?) at one point one of the characters complained, "But the bible is so boring..." and the other character replied, "Well, yeah, sorta..."

Is that allowed? Are Christians allowed to say the bible is boring? I remember as a fairly new Christian hearing people talk about how other new Christians just "hunger for the word". I remember feeling like maybe there was something wrong with me because that never happened for me. It's not that I was never excited about something I'd read, but if someone had asked me if the bible was boring if I was being honest I would have said, "Well, yeah, sorta." (I probably actually would have said something like, "Absolutely not! It's different every time I read it!" Brother.)

I still wonder sometimes whether something is wrong with me. I still hear people around me talking about how exci…

Fine... I'll do it.

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Every day I check all of my favorite blogs and there seem to be a few of them that haven't been updated in a while. Since the mommies that publish these blogs have been slacking, (Yeah, yeah. I've heard all the excuses...) I've decided to take matters into my own hands.

Here is sweet little Chloe. (You're welcome Cindi.)


And...

Here is 8 month-old teeny tiny Karah. (With 4 month-old Sam.)
(You're welcome Krissy.)


And...

Here is Karah's sweetie-pie sister Erika. (Ben REALLY likes her.)
(You're welcome again Krissy.)


And...

Here is my precious nephew Noah. (You're welcome Melissa.)


Actually, I just figured maybe the rest of you were missing pictures of these little ones as much as I was so there you go. Hope that's enough sugar for all of you sweet toothes! (Sweet-teeth?)

(Yoiks. Sometimes even I can't believe what a brutal busy-body I am.)

Happy Birthday Sweetie!

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Kirsten is turning 15 today. I can hardly believe it. I think she is actually taller than me now. I still remember kissing her goodbye the first time her family went to Mexico City for a missions term. I was home from camp for a day to go to an appointment in the city. I was told I couldn't stop in and see her by a very insensitive camp director, but I did anyways. (I still don't feel bad... Especially since that same camp director secretly took all of the male counseling staff into the city for wings leaving all of their campers alone in their cabins for most of the night. Don't talk to me about being irresponsible... Wait. Where was I?) She was riding her tricycle on her driveway and drinking Tang from a sippy cup. I asked her for a kiss goodbye and she gave me one. Right on the lips with her cold little slobbery tang tasting mouth. I cried all the way back to camp.

When she was a little baby I fell in love with her and I've never fallen out. That girl. She is so smar…

"Where Good Things Happen"

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Yup. We're back. Sigh.