Actual Phone Conversation

Me: Hello?

Phoner: Hello, could I please speak with (pause) Mr. (long pause) Glen Williams?

Me: Who's calling?

Phoner: This is Capital One calling.

Me: What is this regarding?

Phoner: I would like to speak with Mr. Williams.

Me: Yes, I know that, what do you want to speak to him about? (starting to insert cold and scary substitute teacher voice into conversation)

Phoner: This is Capital One, he has an account with us...

Me: Yes I know, this is his wife, my name is right beside his on the card and I asked you to tell me what this phone call is about.

Phoner: Is there a better time to talk with Mr. Williams?

Me: No, he is a busy person and since this is probably just some offer of a new service or some kind of free trail period I am not going to bother telling him you want to talk to him. If this is important than you can tell me what it is about and I will make sure you get to talk to him. Otherwise you can forget it.

Phoner: Well... (longish pause then racing through script) I am actually calling to talk to Mr. Williams about whether he is satisfied with the service...

Me: Oh, he's satisfied. You want to know why? Because I don't bother him with crap like this. Don't bother calling back until you have something important to talk to him about.

Click.

Comments

  1. SOMETIMES WHEN I HAVE PHONE CONVERSATIONS I SIT AND THINK FOR A LONG TIME ABOUT WHAT I COULD SAY DIFFERENT.

    THIS CONVERSATION....I WOULDN'T CHANGE A BIT.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL. It's cause they called the night before too. First a computer called to make sure we were home. Then Capital One called and I asked them why they had called and hung up. They said their computer does the dialing. I said, "I'm sick of you people wasting my time, quit calling here." Then I hung up and stewed about it for a while.

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  3. I think the part that really ticks me off is that our call display always shows Ontario numbers. I hate that all the jobs go to Ontario people, even if the customers are in Saskatchewan. Those Ontario phoners... They don't have a chance when they call here. I am armed and ready for battle.

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  4. Seriously - I had almost the exact same phone call 2 minutes before I read this. The only difference with mine was that somewhere along the line I folded and told them to call back at suppertime. I am so weak. Weak, weak, weak. sigh.

    Becky, I need you to mentor me in the fine art of the solicitation brush off.

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  5. K. Now I'm going to lie down. I'm all riled up and it's making my headache worse.

    But look! It looks like this post has sparked a lot of interest! Four comments already!

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  6. it doesn't count when 50% of the comments are your own.

    hehe

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  7. at least they weren't chinese... i always seem to get the poor, straight off the boat, "i sound like steve weng's parents" people... i mean... seriously, you can not understand them, i have to explain that my last name is neither hi bert, nor ebere.... i mean really... i'm from saskatchewan... i am not french... i hate it... how can they get jobs talking to people when they can't even speak our language... but i have fun with the english ones (all 3 of them) i've asked a few of them if they know jesus, i've asked 1 of them for their home phone number, after i was talking really nicely for 5 minutes or so, he almost started to give it to me until he asked why, and then i told him i was going to phone him and wake him up at 4 in the morning, since that's what he did to me (i was working nights at the time). yeah... my favorite is asking if they know jesus and if you can pray for them... and if they say yes (it's happened once) pray that they're not as stupid as they seem, and that they grow a brain... i'm cold, heartless and ruthless to them, but it works... i would post about jw's but it's not really appropriate... ask me in person some time... wait... don't... it's no more appropriate there either... anyways... i gotta go see cindi and chloe

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  8. Trav, Two things...

    #1 He was Asian and hard to understand actually... I can't say whether he was Chinese or not though.

    #2 What. Is. Wrong. With. You.

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  9. I think the most fun I had with a telemarketer, was when they called I gave the phone to Angie. She was 2 at the time, and said hello a lot.

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  10. I used to be a sucker, but now I just basically refuse to answer. Every question they ask is either "No" or "I don't know".

    "Hi, is this Carrie Braun?"
    "No."

    "Oh, well, are you 18 or older?"
    "No."

    "Is there someone around who is over 18?"
    "No."

    "Do you live at this residence?"
    "No."

    "Um, okay, then. Do you know when would be a good time to call back?"
    "I don't know."

    "Alright. I'll call back later."

    *click*

    They never do call back, or if they do, I'm not home.

    ReplyDelete
  11. John that is too funny. I usually tell them off or if I see that it's from Ontario, I just don't answer.
    Do you know that a large percentage of big companies farm out all thier customer support to places like Asia and India?
    Even a big car parts place that I had the misfortune of trying to order parts from. I can't stand that either.

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  12. I like the time I had someone call, and I tole them I was just in the midst of rushing out the door. They tehn asked if there would be a better time to call, and I told them Nope.

    Or the time Art answered the phone, and was outside at the time working on Kyle's car.... he just answered a few questions, and then set the phone down!! Josh and Mitchell were here also, and we laughed our butts off.

    I used to be really bad, now I just check the call display and don't answer the phone. If it's important enough, they can leave a message.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Another good one is if when they are talking, you press and hold down the #5 on the phone for about 10 seconds. Then, if they are still talking after that, do it again. I got that from Angie's dad.

    Todd

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  14. ..Or you could be polite about it, too....thus giving testimony to this incredible religious faith you have...where you love
    God apparently and want his light to shine...thus beoming a bit more smoother in his hand..or something..You are not going to like this comment and I am willing to bet, your caller doesn't like your comments...All these comments make me very sad...and your stuff about loving Jesus..whatever...

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  15. I hope you come back to read this comment annonymous... But I'm betting you don't. Oh well.

    First, I would love it if people wouldn't judge me annonymously. If you have something to say then I would love if you would leave a way for us to have an actual dialogue.

    Next, I agree with you about some of the comments. I don't think up new and terrible ways to harrass telemarketers. I was very frustrated that the day after telling Capital One not to call here again I got another phone call about nothing. That's it. That's all.

    Lastly, I have never said that I was perfect. Just because I love Jesus doesn't mean I have to love being harassed by people phoning me for no good reason. I don't love it. I get irritated. I get frustrated. I even get angry. Sometimes I am sarcastic. Sometimes I am abrasive. Frankly, I think Christians do too much pretending that they are otherwise, and that is why many non-christians think we are hypocrites. I try really hard not to be.

    I also try very hard to never ever judge whether someone loves Jesus or not. Since you already read the poem about being a little smoother I am assuming you also read my profile... I am not perfect and I never want to pretend I am. If you think loving Jesus is about being perfect than you are looking on the wrong blog for an example of a good Christian. (If there even is such a thing.)

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  16. I have read your profile. I used to read some your blog. I stopped. I didn't find a lot of the material or the comments edifying. You love God and are struggling to find your way. I wonder if you might also pause and reflect and work some of these things through before you publish your comments. It's one thing to struggle with parenting challenges etc. It's another thing to enjoy being rude, telling off marketers, having a bad attitude. Is it ok to have these attitudes because you are not perfect? I would challenge you to work through attitudes...Move from being bitterly annoyed to responding in a kind way. When you publish these thoughts and attitudes, you are communicating you really enjoy being this rude and thoughtless. Your readers raised their glasses and you seemed to chuckle along with. But that person at the other end of the line, who is just doing her job, needs Jesus, not a group of people who have decided they love him but don't really want to act on it. After all, you seem to get the calls with enough regularity that you could have a gracious and loving response prepared. If you can put this much work into a blog, recalling the event, might you put as much effort into thinking it through and coming up with a God-honouring response. Might you not be ennobled to do better..and ennoble your readers to do better? Or what does the smoother in his hand refer to?

    ReplyDelete
  17. My blog has never been intended to be a platform for me to preach about who I would like to be. It is about who I am. It is an outlet and a way for me to express myself. All of myself. The good and the bad and ugly.

    Actually. If you want to get into the whole phone call bit, which seems to be only one of your complaints, I was not mean to that man. I don't like it when telemarketers intrude into my home. Usually, I just say, "Thank-you, I'm not interested." However, since we do have an account with Capital One I needed to find out if the phone call was actually about something important. I don't have time to waste dragging information out of these people. All he would have needed to say was, "I am calling to tell Mr. Willems about some new services and ask him whether he is happy with the services he has right now." Instead, he wasted my time.

    I frankly don't care whether you think I was rude or not. I don't feel I was. I say crap. If telemarketers don't stop talking to me I hang up. My conscience is not bothering me in the slightest. I frankly don't care if you think I am a good Christian or not. You are not who I am going to be judged by in the end.

    I purposely try not to censor my posts on this blog. I want to present myself in as real a light as possible. I am sick and tired of this idea that in order to be a Christian you have to present a perfect facade to the world. It's not edifying to me. I don't like reading people's blogs that seem judgemental and superior. You don't like reading people's blogs who are Christians but who aren't perfect yet. May I submit for your consideration the idea that being judgemental is just as bad as being rude?

    May I also point out that your first response was not even slightly kind? Let me quote you... "Your stuff about loving Jesus... whatever." Was that the edifying thing you were talking about? Cause I didn't think that was very edifying, but perhaps you think only good Christians like you deserve to be built up...

    You know what? I would way rather meet a drinking swearing Christian than a Christian that feels it is okay to ever put themselves in God's place and be the judge and jury. My Jesus meets people where they are. My Jesus knows I am a work in progress. My blog is about that growth and not perfection.

    Would I like to be the type of person who never gets irritated? Absolutely. Would I like to be the type of Christian who is always gentle, who always turns the other cheek? Yup. Am I? Not yet.

    Would I like to be the type of Christian that accuses people of not loving Jesus? Nope. Would I like to be the type of Christian that pretends to be something I am not? Never. Would I like to be the kind of Christian who wears a mask and makes themselves inaccessable? Not on your life.

    At least I put my name to my thoughts and opinions. At least I make myself vulnurable and accessable. You may not find what I write edifying. You may read this and say to yourself... She obviously doesn't love Jesus. But you know what? I don't find it edifying to be corrected by someone who isn't even real enough to attach their name to their opionions but still feels they have the right to judge others spiritual well-being.

    If my blog is so discouraging to you I suggest you stop reading it. If you feel that you have things you would like to share with me... If you feel that I have things I could learn from you... I strongly encourage you to contact me via email and start a dialogue that actually involves some vulnarability on your part because trust me... It takes a much better Christian than I am to be able to take advice and critcism from a stranger who obviously doesn't like me and who risks and exposes nothing of themselves.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh, and by the way. I don't censor my readers comments either. If you have a problem with what people comment then you need to address your comments, preferably not annonymously, to them, not me. I happen to love all of my commenters. I happen to feel what they say and think is on them, not on me.

    If I did censor comments I might have deleted quite a few from this post actually...

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  19. This is why you christians drive me nuts..my question was, why can't you smoother in his hands people just be nice about the people who call you up...

    ReplyDelete
  20. Actually, I am pretty sure I already told you this... I usually just say "No thank-you, I'm not interested." That was why I wrote this conversation down. It stands out from the rest. I actually usually even do their dumb surveys and listen to their dumb scripts because I feel sorry for them. Does that make you feel better? Good grief. It was an example of a time when I felt harrassed and sassed back at someone who was annoying me. If you can honestly tell me you have never been sassy when you are annoyed I will be very much surprised. (Actually, I will know you are lying because your first comment you were definately annoyed and sassy.) Maybe there are Christians out there who are always nice to everyone. I haven't met one yet though. I've met quite a few who pretend they are though. I don't like that. I think it is hypocritical.

    I think I also told you once that I have never pretended I am a perfect example of the perfect Christian. If you are looking for an example of a person who is always exactly what God wants them to be you are on the wrong blog. The only place you are going to find an example of someone who was exactly who God wanted them to be is in a bible. His name is Jesus and that's why I love Him. He's my example. I try. I really do. I fail. Lots.

    It would be very easy for me to censor myself and only write about the times I buy poor people happy meals at McDonalds or keep my temper in check when someone swears at me in a checkout line, but it definately would not be an accurate representation of who I am. Frankly, I tend to censor the good stuff way more than the bad because honestly it feels like bragging to say, "Today I talked to a homeless person I saw on the street and then I gave them some money and prayed for them."

    Sometimes I am what God wants me to be, sometimes I know I let Him down. I am okay with that actually. If I wasn't I would probably have given up my faith a long time ago. That doesn't mean I never exert extra effort to be what I know God wants me to be. That doesn't mean that I never try to learn from my mistakes. What it does mean is I don't sweat the small stuff. Cause in the end it's not my job to wear down my sharp edges. God is helping me with that and tells me when He wants me to work on something.

    Did you read the post about Grollier books and how I freaked out and even said damn and hell to an answering machine and a very rude woman talking with me? That time I think I went too far. I lost my temper and I gave in to my anger and yelled and raged. This time when I deal with them I am going to try to stay calm. However, I am not going to let them walk all over me. I am not going to tolerate rudeness. If that's what you want Christians to be then seriously... Wrong. Blog.

    And by the way... Your question wasn't why can't you people just be nice to people who call you up. If it had been it would have been a lot easier for me to say, "I usually am, I lost my temper a little bit there. I would never do some of the things mentioned in these commments." You did not ask that at the beginning though. You accused me of not loving Jesus. You were sarcastic and set out to do a little hit and run action. Say something mean, and don't leave any contact information. It's so easy to judge others from the annonymous safety of your computer.

    I think the reason this drives you nuts is that somewhere you have gotten the idea that lots of Christians only talk about being nice and then they just do whatever they want. I think that bugs you. We have one thing in common, it bugs me too. It bugs me when Christians talk like they are perfect and then don't act that way. That's why I don't talk like I am perfect. That's why I try to post the real me. I have a lot of friends and family who read this blog and they would know if I wasn't being real here. If you don't like the real me that is okay. I have to admit I have a tendancy to want everyone to like me and it bothers me a little that you think I am a faker... That this incredible religious faith that I have is not real in my life because I was snotty to a telemarketer... But honestly, if you feel I am dragging you down with my material (which is my life) then I don't think you should read it.

    I love my blog. I love my readers. I love that people who don't know me and people who do can get a glimpse of the real me. I am not going to start censoring myself now or ever. Not for you or anyone. I'm sorry if that turns you off. I really am... It's that liking me thing that gets me every time... But as I get older I am finding that I can't always be liked. If I censored myself and only wrote edifying things on here there would be people who would think I was being fake. So I choose the real me... Even the sharp parts.

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  21. Sigh. You can go ahead and add "can't let a good fight pass her by" to my list of faults.

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