Am I Freaky-Crazy-Paranoid?

Tell me the honest truth here. I can take it.

Working with children my whole life has meant I've had a lot of police record checks run. I've always just assumed they went part and parcel with being put in a position of trust with children who aren't mine. So it seemed normal to me to ask people who run daycares if they've had one done, and if the adults (spouses) living in the home who will have contact with my children have had one.

Today I totally freaked out a girl running a daycare out of her home by asking for one. She was completely offended and couldn't believe I would ask that. I'm not exaggerating. I thought she might cry at one point. She says she's never had that asked before and that if I couldn't trust her she didn't want my children in her home.

Um. Okay. Take a step back here Becky and analyze the situation. Have you gone off the deep-end? I always thought a police record check was the bare minimum you should do when hiring childcare providers, but could I have been mistaken? Am I a freak?

I ask you this, my readers, because I know lots of you are moms and some of you have your children in childcare. I'm new at this whole hiring-a-stranger-to-look-after-my-two-most-precious-treasures, and I'm in unfamiliar territory. Is she nuts? Or am I?

Give it to me straight.


  1. You're not paranoid.

    (at least not about this) :)

    You should do whatever it takes to feel comfortable with your children's caregiver. The girl I take Emma to volunteered both her and her husband's police record check!

    Happy hunting! If you were in Saskatoon, I'd send you toward our caregiver. She's amazing! You'll find the right person -- just always be sure to follow your mama intuition.

    Love ya!

  2. There is no way that I would put my child in the care of someone who has not had a criminal record check! Good for you for asking and good for you for not settling for just any Jo Blo to watch your boys.Nowadays it not worth the risk and that one little extra step could mean the safety of your children!

    I have been babysitting since my son was 1 and I would not be offended in anyway if I was asked that question. I don't have a recent criminal record check done but I would more than willing to get one done. All the kids in my care are friends of mine's children.

    Hope you find someone soon!

  3. It seems to be 'normal' and 'reasonable' these days, so I'd suggest you're the sane one.


    You could suggest she asks other people that mind children for their experiences and expectations. Might help diffuse things a bit, IF you need to use her services.

  4. Oh my goodness. You are absolutely NOT being paranoid. I would assume, like you, that this, at the very least would be expected.

    Your not assuming she's bad just by asking for that check.

    I'm sure you did already, but I would explain to her that your intention was not to offend. That your job as a teacher requires you to have one when working with children and you expect the same of anyone working with yours.

    I mean really, in this day and age. I am surprised that she was so shocked.

    Do you have many your choosing from or is it hard to find childcare there?

  5. OH Becky...she is the freak! If she can't understand that normal question in her line of work in this day and age...honestly, she is not balanced. In my dayhome here, I have a police record check, and so does Geoff, we have also had a social services report run on both of us to show parents that we have never been reported to Social Services for cause or concern in relation to our kids. I get terribly worried when parents don't contact my references....and a couple of them haven't...myself...that is a must.I also provide a complete document telling them about my background, where I was raised, what I believe in regards to raising children...the works. We as caregivers have to prove as much as we can that we are worthy of looking after the very gifts parents recieve from heaven, and if they don't understand that, they don't deserve to so much look at our kids! Stand up and be proud are a good mom and that woman needed to hear that question! The very best to you as you look for Mary Poppins.

  6. Does this mean that you are really going to take that teaching job?

  7. Becky I think you are totally within your right to ask for one. After all they are the most precious possessions you have! It's not completely fool proof but it definitely would help. I will pray that God gives you discernment when it comes to putting your children in someone else's home and that you do find a wonderful place for your boys.

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  9. i think you are absolutely crazy, nuts and senile, but regardless you're right in asking for a crc... she can't really be all to legit if she has never had to provide one. i thought if you wanted to be a registered daycare, you had to have one done before they would give you whatever papers you need. i know that when i was doing security i had to have one done annually based solely upon the fact that i may come into contact with children at a site. i think you are absolutely right, and i would actually consider writing a letter to the editor in your local gazette or herald or whatever dorkton might have in lieu of the aforementioned. now i'm just trying to sound edumacated... but seriously, maybe not naming names or anything, but just bringing it to attention. also, maybe mention it in passing to an RCMP member out there and see what their opinion is. just a couple thoughts.

  10. you may find this useful in the justifcation of your actions, no matter how correct you were

  11. I have had to supply a criminal record check every 9 months here in BC. As a foster parent I get a child endangerment check done by the Ministry of Children and Families whenever they feel like it. Anyone that I have hired to look after my girls overnight has had to get a CRC done. Now that the adoption is almost final, Jack and I have to get yet another CRC done. Once the girls are legally mine I don't need to do that any more unless the ministry convinces me to continue fostering.

    I would NEVER leave my children in the care of a stranger without a police check and she is the one in question here for getting offended by your question.

  12. I agreee!! You're normal, and sane, and just a little crazy!

  13. You are not out of line with this, Becky. Believe me, it will put your mind at ease to have all adults in the home of a potential childcare provider do a criminal record check. And in the case you mentioned, the fact that this lady was so offended and shocked by this request may be nothing more than a cover-up for what might turn out to be a "bad" criminal record check and perosnally, that is not a risk I'd like to take. I hope you find appropriate childcare. I know how difficult that is . . . especially when you've been with your boys for every day of their lives up to this point (or pretty close to it). I hope you get the work thing sorted out. It sounds like a great opportunity; and if you are able to find a good daycare for the boys, it might actually bring another (positive) dynamic into their lives for 7 months. I ran a daycare in Martensville for 3 years and I know my "kids" enjoyed having daily playdates with kids they met at daycare. It doesn't have to be a negative experience for your boys, but I totally know where you're coming from. It's a lot to weigh. I hope and pray you will find peace in it all.

  14. Becky, how is it you always seem to run into these kooks? You are 100% in the right here. I would personally be wary of dropping my child off at her place if a crc is such a loopy idea. Maybe she's fine, but if teachers, pastors, sunday school volunteers, etc have to do it then it is VERY appropriate for childcare workers (who are usually working with the most vulnerable members of the population).
    Scotty D

  15. Thanks guys. The more I thought about it the more I was convinced I was in the right. It was just the shock of being treated like a lunatic that had me doubting my sanity for a while.

    The craziest part was that when I mentioned how many record checks I personally have had done because I work with children, she seemed to think that was quite normal and to be expected, but that because this was a private home daycare she shouldn't need one.

    Hmmm... Which place is your child more vulnurable in? A classroom with 20 other kids and other adults wandering through every half hour or so? Or a private home with only other small children to see what goes on? Sheesh.

    Oh well. I asked God to help me decide whether to take the job and my daycare search was a complete flop. I'm fine with that.

  16. I probably wouldn't leave my kid there with a stranger without the check. I would be fine with someone I know.
    I also believe she has the right to say no to the check as well. So therefore, just don't leave your kid there if she doesn't want to go through with the check. I don't think either of you are crazy.
    Sounds like you are best off staying home with them anyway!

  17. The right to say no? I have no problem with someone saying, "No, I'd prefer only to watch the children of people I have a relationship of established trust with who don't need a police record check." It was the fact that she expected a complete stranger to trust her and was offended by my request.

    We all have the right to say no, but when we put ourselves in positions of trust we have to be willing to do things to earn that trust. Teachers can't say no. Even Sunday School workers can't say no in many churches. (Including mine.) Well... They can, but then they wouldn't be teachers, or Sunday School workers, or camp volunteers, or security guards, or a whole passel of valuable contributors to our world. If all those people exerted their rights to say no where would our kids be? At home I guess. Where my kids are.

    I actually do think it's a little crazy in this day and age to run a childcare service and be so naive as to be able to be offended by such a simple, I thought, request.

    But that's just me. And a few others. ;)

  18. If someone ever asked me to do it I would, It would let me know that they actually care about thier kids and are not just trying to find the quickest babysitter. Their is a difference btwn babysitting and childcare. Childcare is considered a actual job and if caregivers expect to be paid like they are then they should expect to have to do a crc.


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