Things Always Work Out for the Best

A few months ago, after and because of a lot of complaining from people visiting us, we bought a new phone. Actually, it came with two handsets, so we kind of bought two phones. This was excellent because it meant that we could leave one phone upstairs and one downstairs, thus eliminating the frantic run up or down the stairs. My phone was handset 1 and Glen's was handset 2. Mine had all of the phone numbers from our address book programmed into the speed dial. Good stuff.

On Friday I bought a new pair of boots. (I know it doesn't seem like it, but I promise this is related, just stick with me.)If you look at the picture you can see that the top boot, the left one, is a little wonky. The fur is not uniformly wide along the top. This bothered me, so on Saturday I sent Glen back to the store (if you feel sorry for him now, just wait) to get me a new left boot that doesn't look wonky. He came back with a perfect left boot and a wonky right boot.

Becky: Why did you get a whole new pair? Why didn't you just keep the good right boot, and just get a new left boot?
Glen: The girl at the store said they can't mix and match them. You can only get a whole new pair. So that's what I did.
Becky: Well that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard... (Pauses and thinks for a while.) Fine! Then we'll just buy another pair and I'll mix and match them at home.
Glen: (Thinks to himself) We'll? I know what "we" means and it doesn't mean we.

So today, I sent him (lol, poor Glen) back to the store to buy me another pair of boots. I ended up with the boots he had exchanged for on Saturday, plus he bought back the original pair of boots that he had returned. (Confused yet?) I could tell it was the original pair because of how wonky the left one was. I proceeded to mix and match them and ended up with the original box containing the original right boot that I'd bought twice now, and Saturday's new left boot. (Stay with me. I promise this is going somewhere.) I was satisfied, and took the new boot and the original boot in the original box into my room and stuck it in the closet to be sure that the correct wonky pair of boots was returned.

In the meantime, we had been looking for my phone (handset 1) all weekend. I lose my handset ALL the time, but usually I just page it from the base and then follow the sound of beeping to whatever weird place I've managed to leave it in. This wouldn't work for us this weekend. We could hear no beeping anywhere. We checked the fridge and freezer, (I've left the phone and remotes in there before) and we even checked the van. We (yes, that mostly means Glen) couldn't find the dang phone anywhere.

Then this afternoon, while poor long suffering Glen was taking my old and new boots back to the store in the new box, the phone rang. "Hmmm..." I said to myself, "That's weird. I thought I put handset 2 back downstairs where it belongs. And handset 1 isn't anywhere within hearing range... It's still missing. Isn't it? How come I can hear it ringing from my bedroom? My handset isn't in there. I looked!" But I followed the sound of ringing to my room. "Where the hoink is that ringing coming from? It sounds like it's coming from the closet. That's weird. It's coming from my boot box."

Did you manage to stay with me? Have you guessed it yet?

I had somehow put handset 1 into my original boot box on Friday night, and because it was buried in boots and tissue paper, no one noticed it there when Glen returned my boots to the store on Saturday, or when he bought the boots back again today. I would be smug and point out that if it hadn't been for my irritating compulsion to have two non-wonky boots at any cost, our phone would still be back at the boot store and we never would have solved the mystery of the missing handset. I would point that out, but I'm just smart enough to realize that I would be pushing it. And by it, I mean poor long suffering Glen, who married me and now has to put up with me for the rest of his poor long suffering life.


  1. That is hilarious! I thought one of the boys hid it in the boots. This is funnier.

  2. That could only happen to you! That is too funny. This sound like an episode of: I Love Lucy

  3. i gotta say. that's a great story! :)

  4. What a great story. I too thought maybe your boys had but the phone in the shoe box. Amazing that you got the same shoes back the next day.

  5. you know... if you had never sent glen to return the first wonky pair of boots, the handset never would have gone on its field trip in the first place... but where's the fun in that... i agree with your mom... this could only happen to you... oh... and my deepest sympathies for glen... you should let him buy a new pair of shoes if he's gonna do all this running around for you

  6. That is some seriously funny stuff. Thoroughly enjoyed that post.

  7. Thats a funny one Becky, when I read about how Glen does all these things for you a term comes to mind that Geoff uses about himself sometimes: happily whipped, no just whipped, that would imply something negative...but happily whipped. :)

  8. This was so hilarious, Becky!


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