ELAINE: (To waitress) Oh, nothing for me. (Waitress leaves) I'm going to "Atomic Sub" later.
JERRY: "Atomic Sub"? Why are you eating there?
ELAINE: I got a card, and they stamp it every time I buy a sub. 24 stamps, and I become a submarine (makes a gesture) captain.
JERRY: What does that mean?
ELAINE: (Embarrassed) Free sub.
ELAINE: Oh, I can't believe it! I've lost my "Atomic Sub" card!.. Oh no! I bet I wrote that fake number on the back of it when I gave it to denim vest!
ELAINE: I've eaten 23 bad subs, I just need 1 more! It's like a long, bad movie, but you want to see the end of it!
JERRY: No, you walk out.
ELAINE: Alright, then, it's like a boring book, but you gotta finish it.
JERRY: No, you wait for the movie!
ELAINE: (Irritated, and through clinched teeth) I want that free sub.
Guess what I watched on TV last night? No... Not the Seinfeld episode "The Strike". Good guess though. I would have been better off. No... I wasted yet another hour of my precious time watching The Bachelor. I've been watching it this season since the first episode. I want to stop, but I can't. Usually I don't watch the first episode and I'm fine. I don't feel the slightest need to tune in week after week. I hate that show. It's dumb. This season I watched every stupid episode. Why?
Free Sub. That's why.