Mom Stuff

I don't usually do these things, but something I heard yesterday made it seem appropriate this time. My mom gave me this award over on her blog:
The rules for this award: Admit one thing you feel awful about involving being a mom. Get it off you shoulder. Once you have written it down, you are no longer allowed to feel bad. It is over with. It is in the past. Remember you are a good mom! After you have that off you chest, list seven things you love about your kids or that you love doing with them or that they love about you. These are the things to remind yourself everyday that you ROCK!

Yesterday at my old church in Martensville I got to hear, yet another, great Kevin message. One of the things he said especially resonated with me... A mom is supposed to make the world a safe place for her child. She's supposed to give her child the security of knowing that they are loved always and forever. That's the one thing I feel awful about. It's not that I never do that, but I wish I always did, or at least that I didn't fail at it as often as I do.

The problem is there are days and times when I put more value on my children doing what they are supposed to do, than I do on just loving them the way they are. Those days I wish I'd remember that it's more important to drop Ben at preschool knowing his mommy thinks he's great, than it is to get him there on time. Instead, I send him off with a scowl on my face because I'm frustrated with how long it took to get him ready.

I hate how I do that. I want my babies to look in my face and see approval and tenderness. I scold my kids too much. I know better. I know how to get them to do what I want without having to scold them at every turn. I know all about positive reinforcement and preventative discipline. What I need to be better at is keeping things in perspective... To remember every day how important my actions and words are to my children's lifelong well-being. I need to remember how easily I can hurt them with my impatience and my frustration. And then I need to remind myself that they are more important than what I'm frustrated about.

Now for the seven happy things:

1) I love love love the way my boys are so singy. (Yes, that's a word.) The sing all day, every day. They sing along with things they are listening to, and they sing all on their own. Sometimes they make up songs. Sometimes they surprise me by singing songs they've only heard once. They have the sweetest little voices, and when they add actions or dance moves to their songs... Oh man. They can totally make my day with just one little song, so imagine how it is to listen to them sing their way through a whole day!

2) I love mornings in bed with my boys and now Hannah too. Ever since Ben was little, we've spent many mornings lazing around in my bed... Playing with toys, reading books, singing songs, tickling, wrestling, cuddling, and when I know I'll be changing the sheets that day sometimes we eat in there too. It's a pretty nice way to start the day. It's getting a little crowded though. Maybe we need to upgrade to a king size bed to accommodate our growing numbers.

3) I love taking pictures of them.

4) I love watching them play together. I love hearing them talk to each other in the mornings. I love it when they "read" each other stories. I love it when they hug. I love hearing them say each other's names. I love it when they tell each other, "I love you."

5) I love buying them stuff. I'd say, don't tell Glen, but he's quite aware of my problem. I have a real problem telling them, and myself, no. Maybe I should say, don't tell Ben and Sam.

6) I love watching them learn how to do new things. Ben just learned to write his name and I don't think anything could be more exciting. I love it when they encourage each other and praise each other for their accomplishments and I love it when they ask me, "Are you proud of me?" I always am.

7) I love their hugs and I love hugging them. I like hugs, I always have, but there is something about feeling your child's arms around your neck, feeling their little heart beating against your chest, feeling their breath on your cheek, feeling their head resting on your shoulder. When I'm sad and crying, when they're sad and crying, when we're both happy and giggling, or quiet and peaceful... I love hugging them.

My kids are so great. I wish I could be a perfect mom for them. They deserve it. I know it's not possible, but that doesn't stop me from wishing it was and trying to do better. I know I can.

And the first step? Getting off this computer. Sam is sick with a cold and wandering around snotting on things. He needs to be put down for a nap. Ben is up on the toilet waiting for me to come wipe his tush. And I just put Hannah down seven minutes ago and she's crying to be picked up. Ben first, then Sam, then Hannah. Annnnnnd... GO!

Comments

  1. Sounds like what I was reminded of this Sunday. We are quick to correct and forget to bless often.

    That being said, YOU are a GREAT mom, I know. I can learn a lot from you.

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  2. Becky I think you are such a FUN mom! You are loving, creative and best of all; you are aware that you aren't perfect - that makes a GREAT mom! All three are lucky to have you ! Thanks so much for sharing this post!

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  3. Oh, you make me miss my boys being little. After we got Ben(later known as Jack) and Dennis, there were five of them and they would sing every morning when they were getting ready for school. They sounded like a little miniature Barbershop Quartet.
    Jeren used to sing about everything when he was little, but the funniest to his siblings and me were the times he would be doing his *business* and make up songs about it. We would just die laughing listening to him.
    You are a great parent. I know that because I've seen the pictures that prove it to me. I love the way you let them find things out for themselves and explore and learn and use their senses. I also love the fact that you allow them creativity and you appreciate their differences and individuality. You know how to keep the fun factor open and I swear that is half the battle when parenting.

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  4. I think you are as close to being a perfect mom as a person can get. All us moms blow it sometimes. I think you have way more patience than I ever did and seriously, they do have to learn to move it. That is part of your job, to teach them not to be slow pokes and to be on time.

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  5. I think you may be slightly biased Mom, but thanks.

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  6. No. I have a very objective mind. :)

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