I'm a pretty sentimental person. This is why I take pictures of EVERYTHING. I do. I especially like to take pictures of firsts. First time Gramma held you. First day of school. First bath. First time in the big bath. First bubble bath. First time on the swing. First present. First boat ride. First plane ride. First bike ride. First mail. First bus ride. First pickle. First craft. First slurpie. First time swimming. All of it, and then some.

Since Dad left I've been overwhelmed with firsts. First time we all went out for dinner without him. First time I went to Canadian tire since he died. First time I drove to Martensville. First time I watched Corner Gas. First time I went into an underground parkade since the one at the hospital in Seattle when I left him behind. You wouldn't believe how many firsts. Every time I turn around there's something I have to do for the first time, knowing he's not here.

I still haven't gone in his garage. That will be a hard one for me.

That's all for me. We're in Regina for a mini-vacation staying in a nice hotel. This is the first time I've been here since Dad died. The last time I was here I stayed at my friend Ang's the night before my flight to Seattle. I was scared, but hoping and praying and begging for Dad to get better while I visited him. It's harder to be here than I thought it would be. It was hard to drive on the highway today thinking back to the last time I was on it. I suppose that's why the firsts are so hard, because they remind me of the lasts.


  1. Yup.

    I can't watch Corner Gas. It makes me cry.

  2. Auntie Mitz and I were talking today about all the firsts you and your family are going to have to experience in the next year. We are praying for you.

  3. Oh dear friends. It's going to be a long, long year. It just all seems so completely wrong somehow. I hope you know you have a lot of people praying and understanding where you are.

  4. We are praying for your family as you go through all of these 'firsts'. I imagine there are more than we can think of. We think of the first month , the first Christmas, the first birthday but I guess there are all the little firsts as well, like going out for dinner and driving down a highway. ((hugs))

  5. Yes.

    I also am one to think of the "lasts." Amazing how firsts and lasts can either be painful or sweet.

    Maybe think to yourself as you experience the pain of these firsts, that it will also be the last time you have to experience it as a first time.


  6. I'm again amazed at how poignant you can be in your writing, despite how broken your heart must feel right now. Wow.

    And -- there is a care package a'coming, but I'm been so sick that most of it is still on my counter. Keep an eye out.

    And much love!

  7. Becky...I wish I could give you a hug and have a play date with our kids...thanks so much for sharing your heart in your blog. I love you girl!

  8. Oh Becky. I can't imagine all of these firsts and lasts that you and your family have to experience. I'm sure it's so hard, but I really do hope that you can have some fun on your mini-vacation.

  9. Lame.
    I'm sorry, that's all I can think to say. This is so completely crappy, and I hate that you have to go through it. It's all just so wrong.

    I hope your mini vacation goes great. There is something nice about staying in a place where they make the bed for you.


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