If...

Looking through the Canadian Tire flier is a thing I used to do with Dad, especially if he was helping me buy a tool long distance. We'd be on the phone, flipping through, him telling me if something was a piece of garbage or a really good deal. Plus, neither of us would want to miss out on any really good door crasher deals. I still carefully look through it every time it comes.

If Dad was here I would have got him this motorized inflatable chair from the Canadian Tire flier for Father's Day:

I would have. He had a floating chair very much like this one, except not motorized, that we found in a garbage can at a campsite in Melville a few summers ago. (I got some hangers.) It was EXACTLY the same chair that Ang had bought for herself and it worked awesome. He was pretty pleased with himself that he found one just like hers for free. I wouldn't have been able to resist this one, even though it isn't free from a garbage can. The picture of him driving that thing around the beach would have made it completely irresistible. Can't you see him? And us on shore laughing our heads off?

If it worked awesome it would have been funny. Him zooming around. Probably giving rides to all his grandkids. Likely with a Pepsi and a bag of Doritos.

If it turned out to be a piece of garbage it would have been almost as funny. Him trying to get the thing to go while the wind blows him off course. Possibly muttering some choice words under his breath. His can of Pepsi knocked into the water, good thing he didn't open it yet. Us all on shore, laughing our heads off. Then we would have returned it to the store when we got back in town, and he would have bought some tool instead, to put into his garage never to be seen again by the rest of us. But he'd know exactly where he put it.

If he was here... Lots of things, really.

But he's not. So I will imagine that there's a Canadian Tire in Heaven, and he's got his motorized inflatable chair that works awesome. Only this one would have cup holders too. And he's buzzing around some beautiful lake with a Pepsi right now.

I love you Dad. Happy Father's Day.

Comments

  1. Oh man. I think our dads are probably hanging out together in Heaven. They sound so similar.
    I was in Canadian Tire awhile ago and it made me sad because it reminded me so much of my dad and all the times I would go Father's Day shopping there.

    I think your dad would have loved that chair :) I'm sorry that you don't get to buy it for him.

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  2. Oh man. This chair was actually on sale the same year I showed him the inflatable party cruiser that I thought we all needed. And he pointed out this chair. He would have looked awesome on it. I'm glad I had Uncle Kent and Brent to distract myself.

    Yesterday we hiked up to the top of a mountain and thought about how much Dad would have loved the view. I had to hide the tears.

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  3. Hi Becky,
    We haven't met yet, but I'm Dana's mom. Your words make me cry, just as Dana's thoughts do. You are both so expressive. Thanks...

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  4. Beautiful, Becky. All I had to do was close my eyes and I could clearly see him scooting around the lake with his grandkids clamoring at the water's edge yelling, "Take me next, Grandpa!"

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  5. Yup, he would have loved it. If I close my eyes I can just about see it all, the whole scenario being played out before me.

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  6. How are you coping, Becky? Sometimes we have it really hard when we lose a parent, and sometimes we don't, and that can make us feel guilty. One can look at others and wonder why you aren't all wrapped up in grief, instead of coping and getting on with life OK.

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  7. Oh, I'm way too emotional to manage to be anything but wrapped up in grief. But also coping and getting on with life. Which I'm okay with. Both are important. I'm getting very good at cutting myself some slack, which is something I've never been very good at in the past. And recently I realized something... Some of the people I love best in this world are "over"-emotional like me. And actually, that characteristic is one of the things I like best about them... So why do I hate that about myself so much?

    Letting myself and others around me grieve in their own way has done something I wouldn't have expected... I'm learning to allow myself to just be myself, which is something pretty big isn't it?

    That was a long answer.

    The short answer is I'm coping because I have to. Sometimes I'm okay and sometimes it is so painful I find myself... Really not okay. You know? I think you, of all people, probably do.

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