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Showing posts from June, 2012

Father's Day

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I miss Dad. I think of him everyday and I miss him. Somedays, it's only a passing thought, a little moment of sad that comes and goes when I remember and wish he was here. Other days it still has the power to take my breath away and I still can't quite manage the pain that comes with remembering he was here, he was HERE, and he's not anymore.

I'd like to say there are times when I remember and I'm happy. Just happy. But there aren't yet. Even happy memories hurt because they always end with me wishing he was here. I'm not sure that there's not something wrong with me, how much I miss him still, how much it still hurts.

I sometimes think about how I felt when we first found out he was sick and I thought, "I can't do this. We CAN'T lose him. He can't go." I can't. I thought that over and over and over. That was a long time ago, but I still think that sometimes, just the same as I did years ago.

But as much as I miss my dad, I…